uneasy (boyxboy)

1 - him

"Hey bear!" Sarah squeals as she leans on my arm. I force a smile and kiss her on the forehead. Sarah's my beard. She doesn't know it, but here in Jersey gay is a taboo subject. Take Jeremy Finch for example, he came out a year ago and still no ones heard from him; rumor is he ran off with a knock off Paul Bunion. That's not the point. What I'm getting to is I'm in love with a boy, a beautiful one too. Problem is no one knows it.
" Riley stop thinking." I hear her pout, snapping me from whatever pseudo-situation I was fantasizing about.
"If you insist." My lips plaster on a smirk and we begin to walk towards Mrs. Hellen's room. "Tell me Sarah, how is it you manage to look good all the time?" A voice from behind us sounds. We turn around to see a pair of warm brown eyes staring right back at us.
"G! Where have you been" my 'girlfriend' questions. I would be listening normally but the small grin growing on his face just steals my attention. If there was an award for best smile Grayson would own it, frankly he'd probably win it, present it, then win it again. I must've been staring for longer than normal because my mind wandered from his smile to his lips, and then even as much as his eyebrows.
"You ok man?" He asks as we do that awkward bro hug thing.
"Yah.. yah I'm just tired" I give a half-assed smile and continue walking with them. They continued to ponder the hetero dream as a few other stragglers join in on our moment. As sudden as it started, the conversation ended once a kid bumps into me, causing a dull pain in my chest. I look down, slightly amused. His smaller frame is shaking while looking around for anyone to start whaling on him. I offer a kind smile and help him up. "Are you new?" I wonder out loud. He nods nervously and scurries away before I can offer help around the building.
"Why do you even bother with those kind" Erik groans from the right of me.
"What do you mean?" Grayson asks curtly.
"Oh you know, those.. those gays." His face crinkles in disgust. I lose my temper and turn to him and bark, "Maybe if you weren't so insecure in your own sexuality you wouldn't feel the need to take it out on others. Get the fuck out of my sight." The hall is silent and everyone just watches him shrivel into him self walk away, regaining all dignity he had left. "Cheeky bastard." I mutter underneath my breath. Today will for sure be long.
—
It's period six when upperclassmen are let down to the cafeteria. The standard three of us gather around outside and watch around as people start to accent their lungs with tar and the desperate craving of a cigarette.
"It's disgusting" Gray scoffs to my left. I catch a look of his disappointment and just chuckle.
"You are truly captain morals aren't you." I mock. He looks at me and winks jokingly,
"You know it."
I turn back to the smokey hipsters, smiling to myself. From the corner of my eye I can see Sarah slip inside to use the restroom, leaving just the two of us alone. We look at each other in unison. He holds our gaze for a moment before asking, "Is she ok?" I know immediately that he's referencing my sister. I shake my head and close my eyes, stopping tears from falling. There's silence, then the feeling of an arm around my shoulder. No more words were spoken. We just stood there.
—
My keys jingle as I start the engine to my Jeep. I can't help but let my mind wander to this afternoon. Slowly my tense shoulders began to release, my eyes shut, and did the breathing techniques I learned in therapy. I honestly don't think he realizes how he's saved me, not from anyone, but from myself. I feel my breath even and before I know it I'm dreaming. My eyes lift to darkness, my gaze locks the digital clock in my car, it's off. It strikes me then that I fell asleep with my car running, in which it's now either dead or out of gas. I sigh and get out to walk home.
"Hey stranger." I hear behind me. That voice, that tone. The icey mentality that laces his voice is all too familiar to me. The boy who made my life hell. Gradually, I spin around and lay my eyes on him.
"Oh, hi Ethan"

...

Hey friends! I finally published a chapter lmao. I know it's short but I promise to lengthen what I post in the future. If you wish to get in contact with me, you can reach me on social media.

Instagram: v.irga
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I really appreciate all of the love and support I received on my previous cringe-fest (last divergent standing). I don't recommend it to anyone, but to as you will.

Much love, Stephen