•sad and boujee•

Lovely...

   His name was Tyler and I- well I loved him, I'm not so sure that he felt the same even through everything. My name is Tig I know weird name but back to this awfully cliche, sad love letter. Tyler I loved you so if you're reading this I know and I promise I won't get in the way of your own romance that I promise you...but did you ever even feel the same way, no you didn't you just toyed with me...like you do with every one and even when I told you I loved you, you took that for granted and used my love for you against my self. God I was so stupid but to be completely honest when I was with you I was always so jubilant, and I tried my hardest to look pretty for you, even though people told me that I didn't need to try, like a fucking idiot I did. I fell for all the bullshit lies and the fake love just so that maybe jeez I thought that just maybe one day you could love me like I had loved you. But I couldn't accept that I'm not sure why. I don't really hate you for ending it but I hate myself for falling for you...you may have just been my worst first boyfriend and my first love. You took my virginity and yet I don't why I even let you, my mother always said that a girls first time had to be special, but we did it at some half-assed party in a bed that wasn't even clean. You then told everyone about it the next day and when I confronted you about it you ended things saying that I was "crazy" and too "clingy". Why'd I fall for such an asshole like you that I still can't answer to this day. I don't know if I'll ever be as in love with someone as I was with you.....but when I do- if I do fall in love with someone so much that my heart aches for them I'll tell you and I'll show you that I was and still am better off without you. Tyler my first love, my heart may still yearn for you or your touch but I won't fall for you anymore at least I hope I don't. When I told my friends what had happened they took your side instead of taking mine, I don't know why but in that moment I-I called you and when you showed up we had sex I remember crying when we did... and for the first time you weren't an asshole but instead you stopped and asked if I was okay.... being the idiot that I am you made me fall in love with you.....again and for that I hated you. In the moment I immediately slapped you across the face which I do regret so for that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything, I'm sorry for not knowing what you were going through. But all I did was try to love you and was that so....wrong. Maybe loving you was completely wrong and maybe us meeting was also wrong. So I'm sorry for not being the girl who changes the bad boy and sorry for not being the girl you fall....in love...with. So Tyler goodbye, goodbye to all of our memories. I'll truly miss you. You were so....Lovely.........