A Glimpse Of You

Chapter 11

You held her hands above her head, the look of fear on her face registers somewhere in the back of head. Your hand clenched around her throat, she is struggling beneath you, her naked body pressed against you.
She trying to break free, trying to do her trick, her mind control against you. Not this time, you squeeze tighter around her neck. She's trying desperately to pull free, pushing up with her hips. Oh, how nice she feels beneath you, you feel something stir in you but you ignore it.
You loosen your grip around her neck for the briefest of moments. She screams with all her might, the window above you shatters instantly. Your ears start ringing, you pull back your fist from her throat, landing a blow to her face.
"Bucky." She whimpers, that sounded heavenly to your ears. No, ignore that. You can't get distracted. You pulled back your fist again, it makes contact with her ribs, you hear the sicking the snap. Stop, you plead with yourself. You have a mission. You wrap your hands around her throat again. Slowly everything is fading.
You look up as your vision starts to fade as you watch the Winter Soldier being ripped off you. Tony's face in yours, he's speaking but you can't make out what he's saying.

You come to in the infirmary, the thin cloth of the gown doing nothing to protect you from the chill. You shiver, looking around, you see an IV hooked up to you. Slowly you sat up, the room was void anybody, of anything. Just the constant beep of the machine to keep you company.
You swung your legs over the edge of the bed, you saw bruises on them. You don't remember how you got those, last you remember. You shivered remembering see your eyes through his. You saw the fear in your own eyes, you rubbed your arms trying to ward off the chill that had started to seep in.
You slid off the bed, pain crept up your leg, you ignored it as you pulled the IV from you arm. You had to find him. You tentatively walked out of the room, the machine beeping loudly as you walked out.
You reached the elevator as the nurses came rushing in. The doors rolled open and you stepped in, they closed slowly behind you. You pressed the button to take you to the dorms.
You stepped out as the doors opened, first you went to your room changing into normal clothes. You came out, and rushed to Bucky's room, the bed neatly made. Nothing in there, you opened a drawer, it was empty. You threw open the closet doors, nothing, no clothes no nothing.
Panic swelled into your chest, his stuff is gone. That means. No, he can't, he can't leave. You rush out of his room into the common room, no one was there. You were about to turn and leave when the note taped to the fridge caught your eye.
Dear y/n,
As I'm sure you've noticed I'm gone. Hopefully I'll have a head start by the time you read this, I can't stay. Every moment I'm with you I put your life in danger. I almost killed you last night, they had to sedate me, cause I kept coming back at you. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, I wish I could've been that for you, but that's not going to happen.
Yours,
James B. Barnes
Tears welled in your eyes as you read the note, your heart sinking as you realize. You hands shaking as you blink back the tears. You took a deep ragged breath. Closing your eyes you focus your mind.
"I wish there was another way Rogers, but we both know that's going to happen." You could hear his heart breaking with every word.
"Where are you going Buck?" Steve's sad reply came back.
"I have a train ticket for later this afternoon." Your eyes snapped up, you sprinted out of the common room. You rushed through the building, you ran up to one of Tony's spare cars. Throwing the door open you checked the visor for a spare key to no avail. Fine, you dropped down ripping wiring from under the dash fiddling till you found the ones you wanted.
The car roared to life as you sat down behind the wheel. You revived the engine and gased it, the car lurched under your command as you peeled out of the drive way.
You sped through the streets till you found the train station. You found a parking a spot and ran in, you looked around bewildered. People, so many people. Your heart thundering in your chest as you spun in a circle, hopping like hell the note was written today.
Then you spotted him, tucked into the corner, his ball cap pulled low. His hair spilling out from underneath, black leather jacket over a crimson shirt, his bag slung over his shoulders. A tired look in his eyes as he looked at his watch, he look like hell and dear god was it the best sight you've ever seen.
"Where are you going?" Stating, as you strode up to him, anger wavering in your voice.
"I'm leaving, I'm a danger and shouldn't be here." He replied not looking at you, sadness filling his words.
"Says who? You have every right to be here." Your words clipped out, just wishing he'd look at you.
"I've murdered people." His reply was cool, as he glanced up at the train times, you stepped in front of him. Slowly his eyes flickered down to you.
"Please, tell me which avenger hasn't killed anyone, go ahead I'll wait." No humor in your voice as you watched his face.
"You haven't." His words soften, as he looked down.
"I'm not an avenger." You huffed.
"Anyway, it's not the same." His eyes refused meet yours
"It's not?"
"It was in cold blood." his words so soft you could barely hear him, his eyes pinched together.
"That wasn't you, that wasn't James Barnes, that was the winter soldier." You exclaimed, your own voice almost pleading.
"James Barnes, he doesn't exist." He sighed, turning his head away from you.
"Don't lie to me, he does, underneath it all, that man is still there. Fighting like hell to escape his imprisonment in your mind, I've seen him, I've felt him." The anger returning to your voice, slowly his eyes met your stare.
"You don't understand."
"I don't?" You asked, bewilderment in you voice, you grasped his face in both your hands.
"The looks, the fear, people have. " He tried to pull away from your touch.
"I've been labeled a freak, a demon, satan's love child since I was eight. I may not have been used for evil, but those words still follow me to this day." He pulled away from you, grabbing one of your hands in his, lightly rubbing your knuckle.
"Y/n" He sighed, you cut him off.
"No, you listen to me James, it's time to stop thinking about all things that Hydra made you do and start focusing on good things you've done. Howling commandos, sticking up for Steve, those are things you need to remember. I've seen a glimpse of you, the real you, and that's all I want to see." His tired blue eyes met yours, you wrapped an arm around him, pulling him in tight.
"What if I hurt you again?" You could hear him start to choke back. Tears slowly started to fall down your face.
"I don't know but you leaving, that would hurt worse." You cried into his shoulder. "All I know is I can't go at this alone, James. You're the first person who didn't look at me like I was broken, the first person who didn't try to use my power. I can't let you go."
"Then we figure this out?" He finally pulled back, his arms wrapped around your back, with yours around his neck.
"Together." You tell him, his lips meeting yours, kissing you deeply. Before leaning his forehead against yours.