fear and hope

- chapter one -

(A/N)

It takes a while for me to work up the courage to write something but right now, im sad and pissed off so anxiety wont effect me.... So Here goes nothing right?

************

It was dusk, I lied on a patch of moss and watched specks of dust flitter and dance. My mind was in silent turmoil, the scent in my nose foriegn and my war-form fur looked matted and torn.

"You look like shit" my twin said and began fidgeting with bandages and salves i knew wouldnt work.

"Nate-" i whispered and began to sit up, he snarled and pushed me back down, "I wont survive this and you know it"

"Shut up" he said. Gritting his teeth. "I was told to keep you alive and i will"

"No-"

"Yes" he snapped

"Shut up and hold my hand you bastard. Im past survivng... but i dont want to die alone" I whispered, tears welling up behind my closed eyelids.

Nathan understood this fear. The one of dieing alone, we shared it and each made a promise to the other that said we would hold each other till the end. He shifted a little and cradled me against him. It would all be over soon and he might have a chance at life without me holding him back i thought. He would be ok, thats all that mattered.

A minute passed. I looked up to memerise the lines of his face and caught the end of his sentense.

"- i cut my earthly ties and offer my soul in exchange for my sisters-"

"No!" i screamed and clamped my hand over his mouth, it was too late though. Life was beginning to leave him.

"Shhh. Shhh. Its ok" he said holding me tighter "just hold me till the end alright?"

"Till the end i repeated", voice shaking.

He exhaled, relieved and i held my breathe, terrified, until his chest rose again

"dont go" i sobbed and he ruffled my hair

"I-i have to. This is the price i have to pay"

I went to lift my head but he gripped me harder.

"What are you doing?"

"Dont look at me now. I dont want you to remember me like this." he said

"You fucking idiot" i whispered, "what were you thinking."

"I was thinking that my little sister deserved a real shot at life"

I was about to reply but he took in a laboured breathe and began shaking

"If you die, im not going home"

"You're not going anywhere right now, im to scared and need you to cuddle me" he said with failed lightheartedness.

I laughed for his benefit and hugged him tigher.

Each second dragged on longer than the last. Each second was a colour the world lost. Listening to the ticks from his watch was torture but i couldnt stand to listen to his heart struggle. I watched it instead, a faultering pulse in his neck, 57 seconds into the third minute it failed and didnt right itself. He didnt even finish his breathe... I choked on a frantic scream and grabbed the hair at the base of his skull, pressing his forehead to mine.

"H-hail and farewell. Son of the moon. You deserve more words but i dont remember any. Im so sorry. Im sorry"

I lowered his head and crawled away from him. My eyes were dry and there was nothing for me to do. I shifted to my wolf form and growled at my brothers corpse, he was about to be an alpha! He had a pregnant mate and he thought he would just give up his life. The moon had long ago risen and now i looked at the pale cresent.

"We worship you and this is how you repay us?" i snarl. Hackles rising. "You take what we love the most and dont even acknowledge it?"

"Gods are often cruel arent they?" a voice said behind me and i turned to face them with a growl.

"Who are you and what do you want" i snap, voice hoarse

"To make you an offer, you are in the moons favor tonight."

I laugh harshly and jerked my chin toward nathan

"Why am i going through this then"

"Because you are to be baptised in blood. You were put on this earth to spread fear. Your twin was hope, he sacrificed himself for you and now you must bear the marks"

"And if i refuse to bear these marks?"

He paused before replying

"If you reject the changes that are about to be made you will never see your brother again."

Despair made its presence known and i bowed my head.

Defeated.

"Do what you wish then get out of my sight"

***********

Ok, just to make sure everyone understands.... Nathan is older than josephine by three minutes. I had to have twins in the story. *shrugs*

Yep. No idea. Just a whole lot of angry thoughts and a sick sense of humour....
Haha.
If you've read this far ill need your opinion.
.....
....

Is this story worth continuing?

See you later. Or not. Depends on how much this sucks right?

😂😅😂