Socially Awkward

Chapter 11:

"I don't know why I'm here. I'm not going to open up." I tell her.

She shrugs her shoulders. "I know you're not."

I raise an eyebrow at her. "So I can leave?"

"Is that what you want?" She asks me.

I nod my head at her.

"Then go." She dismisses me.

I gather my things and pause, "You're sure I can go?"

"Yup."

"You're not going to interrogate me for hours and hours?"

"Nope."

I drop my things on the floor and sit back down.

"Change in heart, Luna?" She asks me.

"I think staying in here is less scary than going out there." I confess.

"Why is that?" She questions.

"In here, I can block out everything I feel. It's quiet; it's isolated, and best of all I don't have to make direct eye contact one hundred percent of the time." I admit to her.

"Luna, look at me." She commands.

I do as I'm told. I notice that each time I've been here I've never really looked at Ms. Blue, only through her.

She's so pretty with a youthful glow. She has perfect pin straight black hair, tan skin and kind brown eyes.

She actually seems like a genuinely nice person and all I've done is flip her off.

"I'm sorry." I say.

She warmly smiles at me, "There's nothing to be sorry for."

I shake my head at her, "Everyone talks about how nice and great you are and then there's me who shuts you out for no reason."

"Oh I don't care what everyone's telling you. Maybe I'm a rude bitch behind closed doors." She teases and I laugh.

Her warm smile fades into a serious facial expression. "Listen, you're not going to like this, but I have to call your parents."

I frown at the thought, "But why?"

"A teacher found you sobbing and banging your head against the wall." She tells me.

I did what?

"Yes, you actually did do that and you probably don't remember because you were overwhelmed with emotions." She answers my questioning thoughts.

"Fine, but call my mom. She's going to be mad at me, but I'd rather her know about this than my dad." I sigh. "I hope she doesn't think I'm making up an excuse to get out of school."

"No one thinks that-well, I don't if that that makes you feel any better. I think you should reach out for help or at least some kind of emotional support." Ms. Blue tells me.

I slowly nod my head.

She types away at her computer and within minutes she dials a number.

"Hi, this is Ms. Blue, Luna's guidance counselor from Richmond High School. I'm sorry to bother you, but I'd like you to come down here... No she's not in trouble. I just want to discuss a few things with you... That's fine... Alright see you in a bit." Ms. Blue hangs up her phone and returns her attention to me.

"I know you're afraid but this is just the beginning. You've already made the first step which is finally sitting in the chair in front of me. I want you to relax. It can only get better from here." She tells me.

"I hope you're right."

Half an hour passes before my mother enters the guidance department and walks through the door of Ms. Blue's office.

She sits in the chair next to me.

I don't look at her.

Ms. Blue reaches over to shake her hand. "Hi you must be Mrs. Barbosa."

My mother extends her arm, shakes Ms. Blue's hand, and says a simple "hello."

"Now, I don't want you to worry. I just think, Luna is still fragile ever since she suffered the loss. It's completely normal and I'm sure as a parent you're concerned." She babbles on and on.

My mother, legs crossed and hands folded perfectly on her knee, remains silent through Ms. Blue's unnecessary speech.

"The bottom line is I wanted to make sure you were aware of the situation." She finally comes to an end.

My mother sighs and looks at me, "Why didn't you tell me this?"

I shrug my shoulders.

"Don't do that, Luna. I've been so patient with you and waited until you were ready to open up, but instead you shut me out. I can't help you if you won't let me." She tells me.

I don't reply.

"Luna do you mind waiting outside in the hallway for a few minutes?" Ms. Blue asks me.

I happily get up from my seat and leave the room, closing the door behind me.

I pace up and down the hallway, my head buzzing with worrying thoughts until I hear the click of the door knob being turned. I rush to stand on the other side of the door.

"We're going home." My mother tells me.

"No I can't!" I argue.

"Luna, not here-not now." She warns me with a glare.

"But I've missed over a week of practice if I miss another day I have to sit out the next game." I complain.

"If I have to risk losing my job, then you have to risk missing some silly game." She tugs on my arm and I roughly pull away from her.

"Don't pull on my arm!"

Ms. Blue practically comes out of nowhere. "Everything alright here?"

I look into her betraying brown eyes and say, "I should've never trusted you."

"Let's go." My mother points at the door and I storm out of it.

We exit the school building and my mother unlocks the door to her car before I get inside.

She enters the car and puts her key into ignition.

I lay my head on the window as she pulls out of the school parking lot and drives away.

Ten minutes later we reach my house. My mother pulls her key out of the ignition, but she doesn't move to unlock the car doors.

"I got fired today." She says.

I look at her. "What?"

"I took too many days off. It just became so difficult for me to handle you and Rosie and my own responsibilities including working long hours each day." She explains to me.

"Mom if I knew bugging you this much would cost you your job-"

She cuts me off, "Don't blame yourself. I did this to myself."

My eyes fill with water. "No. This wasn't your fault. I have a father too. Where was he in all of this?"

She laughs a laugh that lacks all emotion and it scares me, "That's a great question."

My lips quiver as I fight the urge to break down in front of her. "Mom, I'm sorry."

A tear escapes her left eye and rolls down her cheek. She quickly wipes it off thinking I don't notice it.

"Just don't worry about it okay. After all, we have your father to take care of us." She puts on a brave face and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear.

Tomorrow is his last day to fess up... My subconscious reminds me.