Socially Awkward

Chapter 6:

Days go by and it's already the day of Oscar's funeral.

My mother has taken it upon herself to accompany me. My father stays home with Rosie because my parents don't want to expose her to deaths like this.

I'm dressed in a modest black dress that ends just before my knees with black heels to match. I leave my hair in its natural curls, knowing that Oscar liked them that way. In fact, he told me himself.

My mother's appearance is a bit similar to mine, but she's wearing a black hat on her head.

A young man is speaking about Oscar's life and I listen closely to his words. He has dark hair and blue eyes and I estimate his towering height as about six feet. He looks around my age, maybe a little older.

"Oscar was a great guy with a bright future ahead of him. It pains me to accept the fact that he lived a short life, but within this short life, he's filled our lives with positivity and love. He was one of the nicest, smartest, most caring guys I knew. He was not only my cousin, he was my best friend. You see, I was planning on surprising him for his upcoming birthday in a couple weeks, but I guess he'll be celebrating it in Heaven now." He pauses and looks at the casket. "I'm going to miss you man."

A tear slides down my cheek as he walks away. Oscar's father pats his back and guides him to the rest of the family.

My mother and I, along with a bunch of other people, are instructed to make room for the family to approach the grave. They each toss a rose into the hole of the descending casket that carries Oscar's body. His mother and father cup dirt in their hands and toss it into the hole as well. Everyone's crying and I look over to my mom. She nods her head, already knowing that I'm silently suggesting we leave.

"Luna?" My mother and I simultaneously turn around.

James is sitting on a bench a few feet away from the funeral. His eyes are filled with tears that I know he's forcing not to escape his eyes. I could neglect him, like he did to me, but I care about him way too much to do that.

I look to my mother for permission and she says, "I'll wait for you in the car."

I hesitantly take a few steps toward him and ask him if he's okay. It's a stupid question, but I can't think of a better one.

He shakes his head at me. "I don't know."

I awkwardly cross my arms across my chest and silently pray that the right words will come to mind. When they don't, I decide to go with my gut.

"Crying won't bring him back you know?" I mentally slap myself across my face for my insensitivity.

James looks up at me.

"Believe it or not, it took the words of my thirteen year old sister to help me realize that sitting here, crying, dwelling, and blaming yourself won't do anything. Oscar would want us to move on." I try to explain to him.

He nods his head at me.

I want to wrap my arms around him so badly and comfort him , but I just can't. I don't want to be pushed away.

"You need to be strong and move on." I fight my nervousness and sit next to him. "You're freaking James Garcia-basketball team captain and star player."

He cracks a smile and I know I've made a break through.

"Feeling better?" I ask him.

"Just a little." He chuckles.

"I don't leave when people need me." I absentmindedly say aloud.

He notices my unintentional comment and apologizes. "Sorry about before. I can be an ass sometimes."

"We all have our moments." I tell him.

"I really shouldn't have told you to pretend that I didn't know Oscar or you though. I'm an idiot. I say dumb things a lot and end up regretting it each time." He says.

"It's okay, really."

He looks into my eyes and of course I look away.

"Why do you do that?" He asks me.

I grow nervous. "Do what?"

"Look away when I look at you."

I shrug my shoulders, still not looking at him.

"Just look at me. I won't bite." His voice is warm and comforting.

I slowly turn my head and stare into his eyes.

"See. How will anyone know how pretty your eyes are, if you keep hiding them?" He says and I blush.

"Excuse me." A new voice interrupts us.

We look up to find the same guy that had spoken about Oscar earlier.

"Hello. My name's Ryan Melville." He reaches out to shake both me and James's hands.

"I just wanted to know if you were coming to the reception. It's a simple dinner at the community center. It would mean a lot to our family, especially you, young lady." His intense blue eyes focus on me. "I've heard a lot about you. Luna right?"

My heart beats insanely fast. He's actually pretty attractive now that I've seen him up close which is bad because attention from attractive guys makes me extremely nervous.

Instead of speaking, I simply nod my head and he warmly smiles at me.

"Hope to see you there." He says more to me than James and walks away.

"You're not actually going are you?" James asks me.

I shrug my shoulders, "I don't see why not?"

He looks as if he's about to say something, but backs out. "Nothing."

I frown.

"I should head home."

He stands to his feet. We're both not sure if we should hug or shake hands. After an awkward pause, James waves goodbye and walks away from me.

I'm shocked at all that's happened in so little time. I take a few minutes to take it all in before getting up and heading toward my mom's car.

When I sit in the passenger seat, she says, "It's over. You'll be alright."

"Yeah" I face her. "So Oscar's cousin invited me to this reception kind of thing and I was thinking of going."

"Really?" She pulls out of the cemetary lot and steers onto the road. "Well where is this reception sort of thing?"

"The community center." I tell her.

"Which one?" She asks me and I roll my eyes at her.

"Obviously the only one in town."

My mom gives me a look for my attitude but continues her train of thought, "Well, alright if it'll give you closure. Do you need a ride home or-"

"No, I'll just call dad." I tell her.

"Oh thank God." She says and I laugh.

"I love you honey, but I'm exhausted. I could really use a nap." She tells me.

"Mom?"

"Yes?" She glances at me before returning her eyes to the road.

"Thank you" I say and she smiles at me as a reply.