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◤ chapter twenty ▸letting go ◢
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CLOSURE – THAT WAS ALL she needed to move on from Flash and focus on herself. There would never be closure from Caden, she knew that, he was the core of all her insecurities and doubts, the mold of herself with all the aspects of things she hated or grew to hate. There would be no talk with him that would lead her to feel better about herself, so there would never be closure, but at least she could have some with Flash.
She had to admit that she hadn't had a lot of closure for many things in her life. When her parents left, there was nothing. She went to school and when she got back, they were gone. No note, no call, no nothing. She didn't even think anything of it for the first week until a letter came with money for all her expenses. That was when she cracked; that was when she realized they were gone for good.
Ever since then, she hadn't seen her parents and all letters they sent only included money – nothing else. They never called even when she sent her phone number to them, never texted, never emailed. All these waves of communication they never used because they didn't care. Little Tessa Cormac of 12B was all alone, no one to hold her at night, to spray away the monster under the bed, or to congratulate her on any of her accomplishments. Not that she had many anyway.
But she needed now, because she could have it. She wasn't sure how she would feel when she gained it, if it would be a weight lifting from her chest as she truly let him go and moved on, or if the same feeling she had right now would stay forever. They were fleeting; they were gone. Hers for now but not forever; not even now anymore. He belong to someone else, not her.
Then again, did he ever belong to her?
Did she ever belong to him?
They were dynamite; quick exploding and gone so fast. They were never theirs to keep, never truly together. They were brought and bound for some time but the chains were gone and they were separated. Tessa didn't have Flash anymore, but now she was questioning if she ever had him at all.
Tessa brought the cigarette to her lips, looking around the park at the other families. They looked so happy; the shiny figures of the trademark family, perfect in every way on the surface but so terribly rotten underneath. Still, they looked happy. Tessa remembered when she was the paper figure like them, the happy child giggling with her parents, brunette hair fleeing in the wind, nothing bringing her down from cloud nine.
She remembered coming here with them, swinging from their hands, having her father throw her up in the air before catching her. She could remember coming and sharing this place with Caden two months into their relationship when she thought she had found her forever, when she expected that they would get married, have their own family, and grew old and grey together. It was a beautiful dream at the time.
