strawberry kisses ⟡ t.guk

⟡vanilla⟡

jeongguk walked into the parlor a nervous wreck.

after the phone call last night and their promise to me this afternoon, he had a revelation. much like the one taehyung expressed to jimin yesterday. however, he wasn't as cynical as his partner. he was more nervous about being honest with himself.

jeongguk considered himself reserved and quiet which wasn't surprising as he was. he liked to figure things out himself especially when it came to feelings and emotions. taking time to sort them out made him safe.

but he was doing the opposite now.

he was acting on impulse. while he did have a plan to tell the older his feelings, it never came up this soon in his mind. the boy was prepared to like him for months without anything happening but namjoon changed his mind.

his guardian had such a way with words, mainly because as a writer of his own music he needed the skill. namjoon could talk circles around someone with his educated language but it didn't matter because he was always passionate. especially since he wanted to give his little jeongguk some advice.

earlier, his purple haired friend poised on the couch, feet tucked into his chest, per usual in the morning since he was an early riser. jeongguk tended to wake up around eleven on his days off but namjoon was always doing something. whether that'd be producing music in their room turned studio, hiking a mountain trail, or simply watching tv. it just had to be early in the morning, seven on the dot.

"afternoon, guk." his friend shouted from the couch as the other crossed the hall to his bathroom.

they owned a three bedroom apartment with two bathrooms. one of the rooms, as previously stated, had been turned into a studio for the pair. namjoon went to school for music production and started dropping mixtapes like flies. he was pretty popular but had never signed to a label because he feared losing his individuality.

jeongguk also gained popularity by featuring on some tracks. RM, a.k.a namjoon, had helped his little brother make a name for himself. the younger enjoyed working with him, learning about production, even thought about going to school for it.

after graduating highschool, jeongguk went straight into the work force. he was unsure of what he wanted to do with his life. yes, he wanted to make music, but his insecurity constantly outweighed the potential he had. his hyung had tried several times to change his mind but it never worked.

so he ended up as a store clerk at the local place. it wasn't a bad job for someone only twenty-one but it never made him happy like music did. it was a chore.

recently, these thoughts were getting to him. he felt like he was wasting too much.

now he was thinking a bit too deeply during his morning routine.

"namjoon, do you ever feel like you wasted too much of your life? like a good percent of it was spend in school and now all you do is work."

the older raised a brown at the sudden question, his eyes watching as the other slouched into the other side of the couch. "no, wanna know why?" jeongguk immediately nodded his head. "well get ready for a long spiel."

he means long when he says long,

"when i was younger, i had a preconceived idea of what i needed to do in life. people want to be happy and happiness was measured by money. that was adult life. ultimate status meant money, but this is obviously false.