Disruption

Safe

(Stef's POV)

It's been two days since the intruder attack. And Mariana was finally home again from the hospital. 

Everyone was a mess since the incident. The two teenage girls were too afraid at night, so they slept with Lena and I. And the boys were angry at themselves, guilty for not coming down sooner. Brandon was taking it the hardest. I tried telling him repeatedly that it wasn't his fault, that he did exactly what he should have done when he came downstairs. If it weren't for him, we all might've been dead.

But I knew he wasn't buying it, and that it was going to take awhile before he lost the anger towards himself. I was just going to have to keep assuring him otherwise until he accepts it.

As for me, I was going to have to make these girls feel safe enough to sleep in their own beds. Not that there presence at night wasn't a comfort to Lena and I. It was, but our bed was getting pretty cramped.

I stretched, jostling the two girls in bed awake. 

"Sorry, Loves. Didn't mean to wake you." I said. 

"It's ok." Mariana mumbled, stretching.

"But you two will have to try to start sleeping in your own beds." I told them.

I watched the fear cross over their faces. They nodded anyway.

We all made our way downstairs, where the boys were already awake and eating breakfast. Since the incident, nobody had been getting much sleep. At least I didn't have to drag then out of bed each morning.

Once in the kitchen, Lena pulled me into a different room.

"What is it?" I asked her, alert. 

She shook her head, waving away my concern that something had happened.

"You just seem so distant lately." She said softly. "Are you okay?"

I nodded immediately. "I'm fine Lena."

"Really?" I could tell she didn't believe me. "If you feel mad at yourself because you feel like you didn't protect us..."

I glanced away, confirming her suspicions.

"That's it, isn't it? she asked.

I didn't respond.

"Stef, you cannot blame yourself. Remember what you told Brandon? How there was nothing he could do? And that what he did do he did perfectly fine? Well that applies to you too."

"I'm a COP, Lena." I said. "I am trained in self defense. And yet Callie was pistol-whipped across the face and Mariana was shot. And I just-"

"Stef." Lena's voice was sharp. I stopped talking.

"We are all alive." she told me. "And Mariana is gonna be perfectly fine. Nobody here blames you, so stop blaming yourself, would you?"

She pulled me into a hug, giving me a kiss.

I just sighed. "I just want the kids to feel safe around me."

"But we do." Someone said behind us before Lena could respond.

It was Callie. "Sorry, I didn't mean to eavesdrop." she said. "But we do feel safe around you. I wouldn't have wanted anyone else there with me you except for you. We all trust you to do whatever you can."

Lena looked at me, eyebrow raised. "See?" she said.

"You honestly felt SAFE then?" I asked Callie.

She nodded. "Around you, yes. I knew you would do whatever you could."

I smiled at her, pulling her towards me into a hug.

"Now that we have THAT cleared up..." Lena said.

I nodded. "Okay okay."

I led them both back into the kitchen with the rest of the family.

I knew it was going to take awhile for us all to recover from this. And Mariana and Callie might need a few more nights in our bed, but I knew we'd be okay. We'd all been through more than this. We'd get through it. Together.