iPrincess of the Prom(An iCarly Fanfiction)

7. Call Me That Again And I'll Rip Your Insides Out Through Your Urethra

Sam's POV

"Yo Fredbag!"

He sighs and turns around. The bell just rang and I'm supposed to be leaving to go over to Carly's. Only problem? I need a ride.

I hurry to catch up and grab his arm. Why is he walking like he's in a race? Ha, a walking race. My freddie would be the type of pathetic loser to participate in that. maybe for a mother-son competition. God, I crack myself up.

"Hey," I puff out, feigning exhaustion. "what's the hurry, Freddio?"

He finally slows his pace a little and looks at me. "I need to get home before three so Mom doesn't call the cops. She sort of found out I sneaked out last night and now she thinks I 'm turning into a "bad boy". So yeah, thanks for that. And where are those cops you promised would be on your ass the minute you walked into school today?" Oh, right. I forgot about that.

I laugh and lightly toss my arm over his shoulder, having to walk on my tiptoes like a fucking ballerina to do so, might I add. Kid's got pretty tall in the last couple years.

"They're on a nice trip to Panama, paid for by yours truly," I tell him with a wicked grin. His amused smile drops straight off his face, and is quickly replaced by one of sheer horror and mild curiosity.

"Sam, what did you do?" he asks warily, taking a casual step away from me as we walk, like a wimpy nub he is.

We reach his locker and he throws his books in in record time, not bothering to be gentle or handle them with care like he usually would have("These books contain the key to my future success and deserve to be treated with loving care and respect."). And yes, he has said that to me, right before I shoved him down a small flight of stairs. He totally should've seen that one coming though, I mean come on.

I sigh and lean against the wall, blowing my bangs out of my face. Why does he have to ask so many questions? "Well, if you must know, I just called in a little favor from an....acquaintance of mine. So calm down Fredifer, no need to panic. No one is being harmed or brutally mauled today. Unfortunately." My eyes follow him as he slams the locker closed and lets his shoulders droop in relief.

We start on the walk to his car and I just can't resist.

"Well, you know, so long as they don't run into my Uncle Carmichael. He does have quite the grudge against law enforcement, as well as most figures in authority," I add in in a thoughtful, serious tone and try to hide my snickers as he freezes again, the blood draining from his face. Because for someone who has heard of my favorite uncle a lot in many different stories throughout the years we've known each other, he has a good deal be concerned about. Freddie's compassion and easy empathy for others has always been the most entertaining part about him, at least to me. It's almost too easy to push his buttons.

"Sam!"

"Yeah, yeah, that's my name, don't wear it out. Oh wait, you already have, Jeez, you sound like a virgin having his first orgasm. 'Sam! Sam! Oh my god, Sam!'" Freddie's ears turn cherry tomato red and I laugh again. As I said, too easy.

"Relax Freddie, they're fine. And so are you and all your loved ones as far as I know,' I tell him, slapping him on the back and running to get to his car first. "Although I wouldn't exactly be shocked to hear if your mom fell off a ladder trying to power-wash the ceiling or something, that crazy psychopath," I add and break into a sprint as Freddie's car comes into view. It's hard to miss the deep glossy red of that mustang. I still can't believe his uptight OCD mom agreed to this. I mean, I know he's eighteen and all but he would've listened if she had told him he couldn't get it. And she obviously isn't lightening up on the rules considering he's freaking out over having to get home directly on time at three o' clock exactly, so why? A shout breaks me out of my thoughts and I just miss running straight into a streetlight.