T'Cherik: To Love A Panther

Book 1, Ch. 1 - "Hey, cousin."

         POV: Erik Killmonger

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          "Bury me in the ocean, with my ancestors that jumped from the ships, because they knew death was better than bondage..!"

          "No..!" T'Challa yelled out as he grabbed my hand, stopping me from puling the blade out of my chest."Erik, please..." T'Challa's palms were wet from sweating, I felt his grip slowly loosening, even though he tried to fight it. Before long he wouldn't be able to stop me... him and I both knew it, but it was something about when I looked into his eyes... his passion, his dedication to saving me in this moment... I couldn't really explain it, but it started a flicker in soul. A small, almost insignificant flicker, but a flicker nonetheless... "Stop being so prideful! Let me heal you... let me help, please... Erik!" I heard him calling for me, his voice was so... annoying, but I was so lost in my own thoughts that I couldn't fully respond to him. I couldn't do anything but sit there in a stand-still resisting him. I couldn't express any other emotion besides the one I felt safest with... anger. He wanted to reach me... he really did, but I wouldn't allow it. I felt like the little boy in me was being woken up from his long, cold, dead slumber. I just couldn't stop thinking to myself that maybe I don't want to die... maybe he's right... maybe, just maybe... T'Challa could be the gentle wind that turns this flicker into a flame again.

          "HA!" I didn't mean to, but I couldn't help but to laugh. T'Challa looked confused, I was giving him more questions than answers. There was a war of thoughts going on throughout my mind, but it was humorous tome, because T'Challa just may be what I've been longing for in my life, but I'll never know, because I would never give someone as delusive as T'Challa the ability to look down on me. Not ever.

          After the exchange of a few more frustrated grunts, I found myself feeling an intense mix of emotions. The first one being anger, but that was simply from T'Challa touching me for this long. The second? Confusion, because I just don't understand why he's trying to save me right now. And the third.. is an emotion that I had been feeling for as long as I can remember... fear, because I knew that deep down I didn't want things to go this way, but I felt like they had to. I didn't have a choice... did I? I shook my head and refocused on trying to pull this blade out of my chest. No, I didn't have a choice, I know that. Just like I don't have one now. "...Tuh! Get off of me!" I yelled, struggling to get out of T'Challa's grip. "I already told you, you're not healing me just so you can keep me prisoner! Tell me why the King of Wakanda would want to save the life of a man who tried to conquer it?"

          T'Challa held me in place, his grip suddenly strengthening again. He wouldn't let me go, he wouldn't give up on me... why? Why is he being so dumb? Dying shouldn't be this difficult. "Prisoner? I never mentioned keeping you prisoner." He looked down at the blade piercing my chest, then looked back up to meet my eyes, and just like that... I calmed down. I don't know what power it is that he has over me, I hate him, why am I bending to his will like this? We exchanged a look of unspoken confirmation agreeing for me to hear him out if he lets me go. "It's simple, we..." He paused, recognizing what he was about to say to me and remembering the whole reason why we were in this situation in the first place."...I don't believe in murder."

          I shook my head and scoffed at him, spitting some blood on the ground next to me."Murder? You mean suicide. It's a difference, and it's definitely not simple."

          "Is there really a difference between the two if I just watch it happen?" I wanted to say something sarcastic in response, but I couldn't find the words to say anything at all. All I could do is groan and turn away. T'Challa stood up and walked towards the edge of the cliff, staring at the sunset while I stared at him, in awe. Why do I feel this way? A little while ago, I was ready to kill him, but now... "If I'm being honest with myself, I'm not sure of what it is... I don't know if it's my ancestors trying to speak to me in some way, my duty as King of Wakanda, or simply my natural human feelings as T'Challa... but I have a sense of duty to—"