rewind

ten days before

ten days before|

Ann visits.

She stands awkwardly in the doorframe, my doctor behind her.

He gives her a nod and she steps through the door.

She is smiling but her feet betray her.

They are hesitant.

They are afraid.

Ann used to know me.

I used to like her.

So I don't hate her feet.

She gives me my favorite chocolates, 5% dark.

I take them like peace offerings and offer her a seat by my bed.

The doctor enters.

He sits on the other side of the bed.

He had no chocolates. He has no peace offering. He only has a sedation in his jacket pocket, ready to be whipped out at any time.

Ann seems to like him though, so I let it go and he stays without saying a word.

"How are you?" she asks.

I frown.

"How do you think I am?" I respond back.

She grimaces and I realize my words sound harsher than they meant to be.

I didn't want to be mean but my voice betrays me.

It knows my true feelings.

Ann quickly changes topics.

She brings up her life.

I pity her because she tries so hard so I try to help her.

"I don't need to hear about your life." My voice says, betraying me again.

Ann flinches, her eyes darting from me to the doctor.

The doctor sighs.

I think that's all he does, every time we meet.

Doctor Sighs.

"Come on Jane," he says with laced kindness and patience. "Be nice."

I try.

I really do.

I used to like Ann.

I really did.

She was funny.

She was kind.

We connected.

But then I went crazy and she was still sane.

Sometimes I wonder how.

She loved him just as much as I did. Maybe even more.

I'm not sure.

She looks at me and her eyes change emotions now.

They are more cold, they are more hateful as she looks at me.

I'm not sure what expression is on my face but the more she looks, the more she hates.

I'm not sure I like Ann much anymore.

"I didn't want to be here." She says.

The doctor tenses and I can sense him trying to stop Ann.

But it's too late.

She is like a bomb, a devastated bomb.

There are bitter tears in her hateful eyes.

"This was the last place I wanted to be." She says. "If they didn't tell me I had to come! If it wasn't because your mom came,"

I must have showed anger because she shrinks back, her explosion less now.

"This...I..." she stammers.

"Go home." I tell her.

I am sick of seeing her.

"God I know he died but just stop it!" She cries out, getting up from her chair.

It clatters to the ground with an echo and I am overtaken by something, possibly close to rage.

Stop it?

I've tried.

She knows I've tried.

But She said those words anyway.

"You weren't the only one who loved him you know! But we all can't start ending our lives because he no longer lives!"

The doctor is now trying to shield her, trying to usher her to the door. The nurses should be coming soon. But she keeps talking.

I think she's crying.

"If we all became like you when someone dies, then no one would be alive on this earth!"

I lunge at her.

The bitch.

"You don't know anything!" my voice growls as I grab at her.

People start holding me back and I feel the needle instantly.

She looks at me with a horror stricken face.

"Don't come back." I whisper.

And she doesn't.

She never comes back. 

----

did a super long chapter and a new character introduction :) (plus the main character's name is finally revealed! yay) 

was it enjoyable to find that the doctor's name was not actually doctor sighs? (i tried a little humor here, kinda dry but still an attempt haha)

what did you guys think about ann? don't worry she comes back because although she  isnt part of Jane's future, she is part of her past. let's see how she plays into Jane's history. 

leave a comment to let me know what you guys think! dont forget to vote and share. 

what do you guys think about ann?