Karma Police

Chapter Five

     Brendon quickly toweled off and headed back towards the bedroom. This was the part he always dreaded the most. It wasn't necessarily that he didn't long for the comfort of an intimate relationship, he just had a huge secret. When he was a younger, somewhat more naive man he told a few people whom he thought he could trust. His parents had always told him that honesty was the best policy, but they didn't have any idea that his secret tended to make people run for the proverbial hills. In fact Jon was the only person who had ever believed him and didn't think he was insane or just making it all up. For fuck's sake his own parents had sent him to therapy when he told them he could communicate with dead people. That was exactly why he had pretended the "therapy" had cured him. It was also why as soon as he graduated high school he left home and only spoke to his parents a few times a year. He didn't like to tell his conquests they had to leave, it was simply a necessary evil.
     However when he reached the bedroom he found it empty. He walked out to the living room to find it vacant as well. Now he was confused. He didn't know whether he should be offended that the man had ditched him without so much as leaving his name and phone number or relieved that he didn't have to kick the kid out. He briefly considered that maybe the sex was so bad the guy just ran the fuck away at the first opportunity but who was he kidding? The sex was incredible, the best he'd ever had. He was suddenly extremely tired and decided that he would just crash on Lunchbox's couch instead of going to his own place. He snuggled up on the super comfy oversized gray couch with a blanket he found draped over the chair in the corner and had just began to drift off when she interrupted him for the second time that night.
     Just want to share a quick word of advice before you fall asleep dear. That young man from earlier is so very special. Promise me you'll do whatever it takes to keep him in your life.
     "How oddly specific was that shit..." Brendon wondered out loud. She was always giving him advice and sometimes even helping him figure out what to do, but it was almost like she knew this guy. He was way too exhausted to deal with the endless amounts of possibilities that this would open up, both good and bad, and decided to try and figure out what the fuck was going on tomorrow.
                       ***********
     Brendon was jolted out of sleep later that morning by the front door slamming shut. He heard Lunchbox lumber loudly towards the bedroom. FUCK!!! He absolutely forgot to cover his tracks last night. He quickly decided to have as much fun with this as humanly possible.
     "Brendon! I gave you two very simple rules to follow in exchange for letting you use my apartment for your  sordid activities. I feel like shit. All I want to do is sleep and now I can't even do that!" Brendon choked back his laughter as he heard this aggravated giant storming past the living room doorway. He bounced up off the couch and arrived in the tiny kitchen a few steps behind his friend.
     "My bad man. Things got really heated and I kind of forgot, or I just don't care. Maybe both." He grinned maniacally. Lunchbox turned on the faucet and started a pot of coffee. "If you can't sleep in your bed because you know that I had wild, animalistic sex in there last night then I'm afraid to inform you that you should steer clear of the couch as well. Also the shower, the kitchen table, the counter, and your precious recliner. We fucked EVERYWHERE! It was insane..."
     Brendon just about lost his composure when he saw the color drain from the other man's face only to be quickly replaced by the bright red color of pure rage. Instead he reached in to the cupboard, grabbed a mug, and poured himself a cup of coffee before taking a seat at the table.
     "I'll clean up everything before I leave like I said I would. Calm down before you have a stroke." Brendon lost it then and began to laugh so hard it physically hurt. As soon as he could catch his breath he said, "Dude, you should have seen your face. It was priceless. We only used your bed so relax. I'll wash the sheets myself, promise. I didn't mean to openly defy you, it just sorta happened..."
     "You're a real asshole sometimes you know.  You're lucky I like you. Otherwise you'd be lying on the floor bleeding right now. Start the laundry. I'm gonna go watch tv."
     Brendon internally debated on whether or not to come clean about the couch but decided against it in the end. No way was he gonna give that idiot any more reasons to hurt his perfect face, he loved himself way too much to jeopardize his striking good looks.
     A couple hours later Brendon left the apartment and it's snoring occupant to head home. He had the day off and he intended to use it trying to figure out what she meant and how to proceed from there. Aside from the fact that she was dead Brendon knew nothing about her and he had never bothered to find out. So now he found himself plagued by his own ambiguity towards their "relationship". Why did she care about him so much? How did she find him? Why had she stayed with him for so long when even his own parents had so easily discarded him? Sure they still spoke to him, but only if he called them. All of this made him realize that he was absolutely indebted to this stranger who had unknowingly, or even possibly consciously and willingly, helped him be comfortable in his own skin and learn to appreciate his gift on some level.
     Brendon was somewhat startled to realize he was standing outside the door to his apartment. He had been so lost in his own head that he made it home without realizing it. This happened way more often than he cared to admit. He also realized that there were several people in his own head clambering for his attention. He did not have the patience to deal with them right now, he had his own fucking problems and they were WAY more important than their post-life bullshit. It wasn't like anything he could do would change their current state of affairs any way. Brendon dug his phone to call the only person who could possibly shed light on this situation.
     "Jon I need you to come over."
     "That means you either a) wanna tell me about that dude you left with last night and need my always perfect advice on how to proceed cause a miracle has occurred and you're considering seeing him again or b)  your weak ass needs help moving something heavy," Jon replied in an attempt to lighten the mood. Brendon calling him the morning after was not unusual but the urgent tone in his voice was and Jon was the only one capable of calming him.
     "Kind of option a but it's more than that. Just please hurry before I lose my actual shit. Also, for the record, I needed your help moving the couch one time, and that was only because I had a broken rib from taking down that crack head so fucking fight me ya dick."
     Fifteen minutes later when Jon let himself in he found Brendon pacing back and forth across the living room at a rate that would put holes in the rug if he didn't stop soon. Jon was mildly alarmed by the scene but couldn't show it because that was not gonna help anyone involved.
     "Hey bud," he quietly said so as not to startle the walking ball of anxiety in front of him.
     "Thank god you're here. I'm about to lose my mind. So after that guy and I had the most mind blowing sex I've ever had I was getting ready to pass the fuck out and she decided to show up and be all fucking cryptic and put all these crazy ideas in my head. Who does she think she is? Why is she trying to ruin my long standing ritual of meaningless one night stands with hot dudes who should consider themselves lucky to have spent time with me? I can't do this. Why won't they ever just leave me the fuck alone? Don't they know I'm tired?!? I just need one day, one god damn day, Jon!!! On my way home this morning they were all so loud, and of course when I actually need her she's not here. She's the only one who can help me figure this shit out because she's the only one who knows what the fuck she was going on about." Brendon sighed and slumped in the nearest chair in over dramatic Brendon fashion.
    "Ok. Wow. First of all, take a breath. It's gonna be alright. I'm here and we'll try and make sense of this together. Now I'm kind of lost here so I'm gonna need you to tell me what exactly happened last night. Don't be afraid to skip over the sex though." Jon said as he sat down on the couch.
     Brendon got back up and resumed his pacing. He had entirely too much nervous energy to be still for longer than a few moments. Any other person on the planet would be irritated by his need for constant motion, Jon just let him do his thing. Brendon explained everything that had happened the previous night including a very graphic play by play of the sex. His skills in the bedroom were paramount. He knew it, therefore so should everyone else. When he had walked Jon through everything that happened he flopped down on the couch and pleaded with his eyes for some clarity and comfort from his best friend.
     "Damn, you really did have one hell of a night. Here are my thoughts. First of all, and most importantly, I really think you're reading too much in to this. I think she can just sense that you're more lonely than you are willing to admit to yourself. I can tell by the way you spoke about him that he's not like the other guys. There's something there. There's no way in hell she knows him. That's just fucking crazy. If she knew him, why would she be haunting you for all these years?" Jon really hoped this was gonna help ease Brendon's anxiety.
     "Are you sure? Like 100 percent positive I'm just being a total nut job? Cause like the last thing I need is a fucking supernatural match maker. I'm way too attractive for that nonsense. If I wanted a relationship I could totally get one on my own, but you know why I don't want one. It's too complicated. I'm too complicated." Brendon sounded like he was trying to convince himself rather than Jon that this was the gospel truth. Jon immediately picked up on it but decided to let it slide for now. Right now he needed to convince him that this entire situation was all in his head, otherwise he might actually explode.
     "Bren, listen to me. You are being a complete moron. There is absolutely, positively no reason for you to freak out. You have to take my word on this. When have I ever steered you wrong? Never, that's when. Now, you know I love you but I gotta leave. I'm already late for my date with Spencer and you know how bitchy his ass gets when he's faced with even the slightest inconvenience."
     Brendon answered with a smile and a wave of his hand. "Thanks for coming by. You know I love you the most right?"
     "Of course I do you big idiot. Now stop getting all mushy on me. Listen to some music and try to get your head on straight. I'll check in with you later. "
      After he heard the front door click shut Brendon rolled off the couch grabbing his phone off the coffee table on his way down. He was gonna take Jon's advice and drown out the voices by blaring music as loud as he could. He turned on his Bluetooth speaker and opened his iTunes and began to search for just the right song to reflect his current mood.
Round here we're carving out our names
Round here we all look the same
Round here we talk just like lions
But we sacrifice like lambs
Round here she's slipping through my hands
Sleeping children better run like the wind
Out of the lightning dream
Mama's little baby better get herself in
Out of the lightning
She says It's only in my head
She says I know it's only in my head
But the girl in car in the parking lot