Ryan and Joe were trying to figure out what had killed Marc Baker earlier that morning.
"Maybe it was lupus," one of the interns said. This latest group of fledgling doctors truly were one of the dumbest groups Ryan had ever had. Lupus? Seriously, that's the best they could do?
"It's never lupus," Ryan and Joe simultaneously growled. They had been pouring through textbooks and research all day to no avail. This was something entirely new. The only thing they had been able to determine for sure was that whatever killed that man was a virus of some sort. They didn't even know whether it was contagious or not. Ryan and Joe had discussed, privately so as not to complete freak the kids out, that if this shit was contagious the ramifications could be disastrous. Both of them knew the last place Marc Baker had been was a crowded dive bar and this information did not sit well with either one of them. They needed to get to the bottom of this so they could work on developing a vaccine otherwise a lot of people, themselves included, were absolutely fucked.
Ryan had decided around 4:30 that everyone needed to take a beat and come back to it with fresh eyes. Ryan and Joe relocated themselves to Ryan's office.
"Joe, I'm kind of freaking the fuck out over here. We were at the same god damn bar as that sorry son of a bitch less than 24 hours ago. What if this shit is airborne? What are we gonna do?"
"I don't know why you're freaking out so bad. It's not like if you die you're leaving anyone behind. Cause more than likely if you die then so will I...besides we're totally gonna win all the awards if we can name this thing. Imagine if we can develop a vaccine. We might even be famous and then you'll have an endless supply of dudes just begging to be one of your one night stands."
Ryan opened his mouth to give a snarky reply, but quickly shut it once he figured out he didn't have one.
"I don't know whether to punch you in the fucking face for your Ryan is a sad, lonely loser comment or for the insinuation that you only wanna do this for the possibility of infamy. So I'm choosing to ignore all of that. Gonna lay down on my couch, turn on some music and get lost in my head for a bit. Otherwise I'm gonna be of no use to anyone at all. We've be at this going on six hours and I'm exhausted. No offense but get the fuck out of here and go do whatever you need to do to help me with this."
Anyone other than Joe would have found Ryan's attitude completely offensive despite his disclaimer, but Joe knew that this was just how he got when he was under intense pressure. So he just rolled his eyes, stuck out his tongue, and headed to his own office for a nap. Joe rarely felt pressure. He had always been the calming force in their friendship and that was probably not gonna change anytime soon, if ever.
I don't want to be the sweeper of the egg shells that you walk upon
And I don't want to be your other half, I believe that 1 and 1 make 2
I don't want to be your food or the light from the fridge on your face
At midnight, hey
What are you hungry for
I don't want to be the glue that holds your pieces together
I don't want to be your idol
See this pedestal is high and I'm afraid of heights
I don't want to be lived through
A vicarious occasion
Please open the window
Visiting hours are 9 to 5 and if I show up at 10 past 6
Well I already know that you'd find some way to sneak me in and oh
Mind the empty bottle with the holes along the bottom
You see it's too much to ask for and I am not the doctor
I don't want to live on someday when my motto is last week
I don't want to be responsible for your fractured heart
And it's wounded beat
I don't want to be a substitute for the smoke you've been inhaling
What do you thank me
What do you thank me for
Visiting hours are 9 to 5 and if I show up at 10 past 6
Well I already know that you'd find some way to sneak me in and oh
Mind the empty bottle with the holes along the bottom
You see it's too much to ask for and I am not the doctor
Ryan was pulled from his reverie by an annoying noise. After a few moments he realized it was his office phone. He was immediately taken over by an overwhelming surge of dread followed by irritation for having been interrupted. Apparently it was too much to ask that he be able to listen to his music and recharge his cluttered mind.
"Dr. Ross," he snapped at whoever was on the other end. "Fine. Yes. I'll be right down."
It was in these moments he kind of resented Joe's position. Joe was never called down to the ER because his job mainly consisted of research, analyzing test results, and determining the course of treatment for Ryan's patients. Not to mention that Joe never had to deal with people who were freaking the fuck out because someone that they loved was fighting for their life against an unseen killer. He took the elevator ride down to the first floor to switch gears from the fruitless research he had been doing all day into action mode. If he was being summoned it only meant that his new patient's life was in peril and it was up to him to do something about it. Ryan had learned early on in his career to detach himself from the emotions involved in these types of situations and do his job. He was one of the best in the country and he reminded himself of this as he stepped off the elevator into the bright light and chaotic atmosphere of the emergency department.
He was given a quick rundown of the situation between the elevator and the exam room that sent chills down his spine. The latest patient had all the same symptoms that Baker had. This guy was still alive though, so he at least stood some chance of saving him. At the very least any information that he could obtain would help his team come up with some sort of plan of action should this virus spread any further.
Ryan entered the room and began telling the nurses and attending doctors what they needed to do in order to help him, and subsequently their patient, as quickly and effectively as possible.
"One of you nurses draw me enough blood to run a CMP, CBC, and a VirScan. Whoever doesn't do that, get me a chest tube tray. His lungs are filling up and we don't have time to waste. Dr. Duncan suction out his mouth and intubate him."
Everything was happening very quickly, but Ryan didn't feel out of control for even one second. After the patient had been intubated and chest tubes were placed, somewhat successfully draining the blood from his lungs, Ryan took a moment to figure out what he was gonna do next. Just as he was about to tell his colleagues what their next task was the monitors started screaming, indicating that their patient's heart had quit beating. Ryan immediately started chest compressions while the other doctor delivered air into the man's lungs at the appropriate intervals. After an exhausting twenty minutes, Ryan had to call it.
"Time of death 5:13 pm."
Ryan made quick work of discarding his gloves and the paper gown he had donned upon entering the room, throughly washed his hands at the sink nearby, and walked out into the hallway. He was headed outside for a breath of fresh air when he lifted his gaze from the floor only to find none other than Trouty Mouth himself standing on the opposite side of the well lit corridor. Fucking hell, when was he gonna catch a damn break. The last thing he needed was to have to try and give a valid excuse as to why he abandoned the man the night before without so much as a word...but wait a minute, why was the guy standing outside the room where Ryan had just lost a patient?
It was only then that Ryan took the time to take in his surroundings. Trouty Mouth was not alone. He was standing next to a rather tall, moderately good looking man and was wearing the face of someone about to lose his shit. Ryan switched back in to doctor mode, took a deep breath and approached the men with his head held high.
"Excuse me gentlemen, are you here with Mr. Hall?"
"I heard you say he was dead," the giraffe flatly stated.
Ryan could see the shorter of the two physically begin to crumble. He reached out toward him and placed an arm around his slouched shoulders.
"Let's go somewhere to talk. Sound okay?" Ryan should have included both men in this conversation but fuck that other dude, he was a total stranger not worthy of his comforting, and Ryan was inexplicably drawn to the man who was now looking into his eyes and nodding.
For the entirety of the elevator ride Ryan tried to come up with a plan as to how in the hell he was gonna deal with this situation. He was super good at providing comfort to his patients and their families because he could easily remain detached, but dealing with someone he knew was always hard for him. It made him feel awkward. The worst part though was that it never failed to make him reflect on things that happened to him. He was an empath, he felt others' emotions quite strongly, always had. Grief was one thing he knew too much about. As selfish as it sounded to him, he couldn't help but want to avoid all the emotions of his own personal loss that this was inevitably going to dredge up. As they walked the short distance from the elevator to his office he readied himself for what was bound to be an uncomfortable situation. The last thing he wanted was for this guy to see him lose it. He kept telling himself it's not about you Ross, keep your shit together.
After Ryan shut the door to his office he ushered the shocked man to the couch making sure he was sufficiently comfortable before he ran his fingers through his hair and tried to gain some semblance of composure. God he felt like such an asshole for what he was about to say but it had to be done.
"Dude, I'm so absolutely fucking sorry, but what is your name? I'm Ryan by the way."
"Brendon," he replied with the tiniest of smiles.
Ryan turned around one of the chairs that sat in front of his desk and sat down so he could be at eye level with Brendon. He couldn't help but to think that Brendon was a lovely name for a gorgeous man and he felt himself blush just a bit before remembering why they were in his office.
"Was Mr. Hall a friend of yours?" Ryan hesitantly asked. Simple questions were best to start off with in these situations.
"Kind of. Not really. It's hard to explain. We work, well worked, together at the police station and he was the bouncer at the club my band plays at, but I wouldn't say we were necessarily friends. Fuck before about fifteen minutes ago I didn't even know his actual name. I don't even know why this is bothering me so much. I guess its because I couldn't save him. Also because no one I know has ever died before, let alone right in front of me."
Ryan looked at him with a warm look and noticed the tears that had begun to silently fall down Brendon's lightly freckled cheeks. Even in a state of sadness he was so fucking beautiful. Upon hearing the little whimper that came from the couch, Ryan dropped to his knees in front of Brendon. He had his hands covering his face now.
"I'm sorry for crying. Sorry that you have to listen to me. You don't have to. I can leave..."
Ryan took hold of Brendon's wrists and lightly pulled them away from his face so that they could look one another in the eyes.
"Don't apologize and don't leave. If I didn't want to help you I wouldn't have offered in the first place. I promise."
The sorrow he saw in the other man's eyes was intense. Ryan decided that maybe letting Brendon know a little about some of his own grief might help. He had never really talked about it to anyone other than Joe and he found himself wondering what it was about this kid that made him let go of all of his long-held inhibitions. Unfortunately he didn't have the luxury of time to contemplate such matters. He took a deep breath and sat next to Brendon on the couch.
"When I was a freshman in college, I got a call from my dad telling me that he had just been diagnosed with a rare form of brain cancer. He was the only person I had left. My mom died when I was younger in a car accident. Watching my dad go through that pain almost broke me. Somehow we made it through that hell. He was the strongest man I have ever seen. Instead of being bitter he chose to make the best of the shit hand that we had been dealt."
Ryan's voice began to quiver when the hot tears started to slip down his cheeks. He felt so fucking weak and vulnerable in that moment.
"I begged him to let me come home and take care of him, but he was adamant about me staying in school so I could live my dreams. It broke my fucking heart. When he passed I was inconsolable for weeks. My best friend Joe is the one thing that got me through it."
Ryan felt the tender touch of Brendon's fingertips brush away the tears that were threatening to fall off his sharp jawline. He buried his face in the crook of Brendon's neck and let himself cry for a few minutes before he began to feel like the worst person ever.
"Fuck, I'm sorry. I'm supposed to be comforting you, not crying like a little baby about shit that I can't change." He sniffled and raised his head to encounter Brendon's tear stained face looking back at him. A sense of warmth and belonging washed quickly over him in that moment. He was so absolutely fucked. There was no way in hell he could do this. He could not fall for this guy. If he ever lost him even Joe wouldn't be able to save him.
Brendon leaned down and kissed him softly on his forehead.
"No one can be strong all the time Ryan. That's impossible." Brendon said as he wrapped Ryan in his strong arms.
"I know we kind of have a weird history, and this is kind of backwards, but can I take you out to dinner sometime?" Brendon tentatively asked.
"Can I think about it? It's not that I don't like you, I do, but I'm afraid. Afraid of liking you too much, afraid of you deciding you don't like me after all, afraid of a lot of things. God, I'll shut up now." Ryan was internally kicking himself for being so weird. He sucked at trying to explain his thoughts to new people, and he was just embarrassing himself.
"Take as long as you need to Ryan, but just know I'm not gonna leave you. Even if I only get to be your friend, that's more than I probably deserve."
There was a knock on the door and Ryan stood up rather quickly to answer it. He brushed the remaining tears from his eyes and prayed that whoever was on the other side wouldn't notice how red his eyes were and how blotchy his skin was.
"Dude, there's been another one. Have you heard yet? They just called me. We have so much work to do. Looks like your date with Kurt and Blaine will have to be postponed for a while." Joe rambled with that familiar twinkle of excitement in his eyes.
It was only then that Joe noticed his best friends I've-been-crying face and gave him a questioning look. Ryan inconspicuously averted his eyes towards the couch to the left of the door to let Joe silently know it was time to shut the fuck up.
"Sorry for interrupting, but I kind of need that brilliant mind of yours." Joe glanced at Brendon and offered his most apologetic of looks.
"Brendon, I hate to do this, but I gotta go. This moron can't function without me. Are you gonna be okay to see your way out?"
"Yeah I'm good. But I need your number so we can set up that..."
Brendon couldn't finish his sentence before Ryan was gone. He looked around the room and spotted the stack of business cards on the desk. He quickly grabbed one, took a deep breath to try and collect himself, and left the office. He looked up and down the hallway but all he saw was a door closing a few feet down the hall. As he descended to the first floor he couldn't help but to feel a bit excited and even allowed a smile to find it's way across his face.
YOU ARE READING
Karma Police
FanfictionDr. Ryan Ross is involved in a race against the clock. He is working in conjunction with the CDC to find the cure to a very deadly virus before it takes the lives of the ones he holds most dear.
