Tomtord One Shizzles

Prison au (tester)

Ever since the 'incident' happened Tord had been sent to jail..for obvious reasons. Being locked up in there for so long had gotten to him.

TORD'S POV

"ROLLCALL!" screeched the microphone outside my cell. Waking up at six in the morning every day, going to bed at nine in the afternoon every day, rollcall at six fifteen, twelve AND eight every day. I always thought that prison would be more violence and arguments. But instead, it was a raging muddle up of schedules planning out the rest of my life. Geez, I feel like Sheldon Cooper.

I drearily swung my feet over the edge of my hard, lumpy bed and slammed my cell door behind me on the way to rollcall. We meet up on the lawn in the middle of campus each morning, lunchtime and night every day. We don't have any electrical devices or anything to even set alarms to make sure we're awake by morning. All we have is the booming microphone outside the cells.

I was stuck in a trance of my own thoughts until I was rudely awakened. By a loud obnoxious bellow from one of the guards, and by his voice I could tell that it was the same person in the microphone box. "GET IN LINE, YOU!" he screamed at one of the prisoners, whacking her with his stick. The guard had hair that held up his hat about twelve centimeters above his head and a deep british accent. Great, Tom found a job where his anger and rage would pay off, and he got to whack someone with a stick. I do look different, right? I've had my hair buzzed, even though it is still about two centimeters shorter. My accent has thinned because of trying to blend in with the crowds. He won't notice me like THIS. Well, it has been a few years, he won't recognise me, right?

Finally rollcall was over and it was time for breakfast, I began to walk over there when I accidentally bumped into someone...an old friend, knocking us both over. Oh fæn, it was a guard....

"Oh I'm so awfully sorry sir, I wasn't watching where I was going, please don't shove me into solitary confinement!!" I hastily sprung to my feet and picked up all of his stuff for him, handing it all over.

"Oh please, why would I put you in solitary confinement for an accident? You're just lucky you didn't run into To- I mean, Mr. Ridgewall. Thank you." the guard said in a caring voice. Hmm, it was just as nice as...OH SHIZZLE IT'S EDD!!! EDD WORKS HERE TOO?!?!

I nodded at him and he nodded back, walking away to the guard table whilst I went to get food. After I got my food, I sat at a random seat with a few other men. They looked nice at least.

"Yall right laddies?" I asked as I sat down, hoping they would get it. It was kind of an inside joke between the entire prison. My soft(ish) accent trying to reveal itself.

"Ja." replied one of them, mockingly, "you're that Norwegian piece of shizzle, ain't ya? Well I just got one thing to say to you. Why the bloody 'ell are ya 'ere if you could get over there and NOT disturb anybody?!" He pointed at the next table, which nobody was currently at. Slowly, I trudged my way over to that table, them stealing my food as I stood. I took back the tray once they stole the food off it. I didn't even get a bite!

I sulked at the next table, slowly waiting for the next bell to ring, as the next bell meant free time. I lifted my head as I heard footsteps come towards me. "Hey, it's okay. Sorry we couldn't do anything about your food but we can still get you some mo- oh wait, sorry, the canteen is already closed. Oh well, I'll come and join you, we can share my food!" he walked back to his table, grabbed his tray and brought it over to me before I could say a thing.

Damnit Edd, hearing your soft, caring voice triggered my accent back to it's thick originality. "Tha-" I coughed, fixing the accent to try and make it sound like I was from England. "Thank you."

And before I knew it, two more guards were walking this way, one named Matt, one named Tom. Darn it, I thought I was away from them in here at least.

"Edd, if you're sitting here, then me and Matt are also. The other guards only talk about prisoners." Tom stated. I put my head down, trying to avoid showing off my scars to the trio of friends.

"Hey, why are you so nervous? Help yourself to food by the way. My name is Edd, and this is Matt, and Tom. What's yours?" he quizzed me. Shizzle, what do I say here? 'My name is Tord and I tried to take over the world in a giant robot'?! Geez, if Jesus was real, then he would protect me right now.

"....I don't...have one..?" I said, regretfully. "My parents died when I was really young, and my birth certificate was never found in their home. I was adopted by two nice men ans they gave me a name instead but I just like to take a nickname instead of the fæn they gave me."

All three stared at me, probably because I said the word fæn, and my accent peeked out a little. "Most people just call me Tori because apparently I have a feminine body although that isn't the name that my guardians gave me." I stated dissappointedly.

"Please, put your head up. I can't see your face." Tom requested of me. I knew he had a gun and a taser with him, so I didn't exactly hesitate. I lifted up my head and locked eye contact with him. "...what...happened to your face?" he asked genuinely. The only way to win here is to lie or he'll definitely figure it out...

"I fell out of a tree onto concrete...I had to go to A&E overnight. And I must say, it smelled terrible there."

Tom knew I was lying...

"And now be honest, trees don't grow that near to concrete. At least not near enough to fall onto."

"Okay fine, you caught me. I tried to take over the world with my giant robot until I was ever so harshly shot out of the sky with a frickin harpoon. That's also how I ended up here." I said, giving up on any hope of a fresh start with them. Whilst saying that, I also gave up on hiding my accent, although it was difficult to restore it to how it was before I started to try and hide it.

The three stared at me. "WHAT?!" they screamed in unison, "Tord?"

"Guilty as charged. I'm just guilty for everything. Why don't I just go and kill myself so that I'm out of your lives forever?" I wailed uncontrollably. I had no choice on what I just said. It was all just blurted out of my mouth.

"Please do, idiot. You killed a man, why not kill a boy?" Tom said, smugly.

"Yeah! You ruined my face for positively two weeks and destroyed all of Edd's cola! IF YOU MESS WITH EDD THEN YOU'RE PLAYING WITH GINGER!" Matt screamed. Just as he finished, the bell rung and I fled to my cell, away from that torturous table and over to where my dead body would be sitting.

I searched my cell for a disguise, but sadly I was unsuccessful. Great, thus results in another boring roll call for the day, still plenty more to go on the way too.

I lunged myself to the infamous line, which almost everyone has permanently attached in their brain, unless they're new-comers of course.

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