Silk flowers

The air is cold

"Alex, how far away is the hospital?"
"Uh 20 minutes. But if I take the highway 15. Why?"
"Tia was hospitalised last night. They don't know why she just passed out."
"Let's go."
We both flew out the door and threw ourselves into the truck. I don't even get time to put my seat belt on before Alex has the tin can onto the highway. I was panicked and frustrated. I was so frustrated at myself for not checking in earlier and being so god damn selfish! But I knew everything was going to be okay. This is just what happens at parties. People get drunk, they get sick, they pass out but recover almost instantly.
Alex could sense how tense and worried I was. He let one hand off the steering wheel and grasped mine. His hand was soft, warm and comforting. We had been driving for 15 minutes before we pulled into emergency parking. We found a empty space and Alex parked. I jumped out of the car and he did too. We both walked up to the administration desk. I spoke.
"Uh hi, I had gotten a call to say Tia Mirandas had been sent here last night?" I was so nervous my hands were shaking.
"Hmm, let me just check. We had a bunch of young people come through last night. Always the way, ya' know?" I could tell she was trying to lighten the mood, it wasn't working. I took an impatient and nervous breath. My heart was racing and my stomach was in a knot. Alex's grip got tighter and tighter, my hand started going numb.
"Uhh let me see..... Ah here. She's in ward 23d." And with that Alexs grip loosened and we sprinted to the elevator. We waited for what seemed for forever just to get to the 5th floor from ground level. We followed the signs all the way to the ward office and we signed ourselves in a walked to her room. There was a crowd of 7 or so people. Including tias friends that I had seen last night and her Mum. I walked over and everyone moved out of the way and I looked down and tia had an oxygen mask on and iv in both arms. It was like the world has imploded. It went cold, everything went dark, my stomach dropped and my heart clenched into a tight knot until I didn't know where I was. I started to shake and cry. This cry was confusing. Because all I wanted to do was scream and cry for eternity but all that came out was a single tear down my cheek. Alex held me tighter. But I just needed to be away. I had been studying medicine and my undergraduate in doctorate enough to know there was no way of recovering from this. She had already had many health issues and I looked what was in her iv drips and they were drugs that were used for those highly intoxicated. All the colour was gone and I didn't know what would happen. I couldn't be in this small room any longer. I let go of Alex and walk out. It was more of a run than a walk. I follow the signs that say garden. I take two left turns and a right and there is a beautiful glass windows from floor to ceiling and the doors were automated. I walked out and found that there was no one there which made me a bit concerned but I didn't care I needed to be alone for ten minutes. I sat and just cried. I didn't know what I was going to do. I needed more time! I needed to say good bye! God it's all my fault if I hadn't of selfishly left with Alex I could've made sure she was okay! I could've made sure she got home!! I could've made sure she didn't have to much to drink!! I could've sat and waited but NO!! I had to run off with Alex!! This is all my fucking fault!!
I burry my head into my legs and let all my feelings out.
This isn't normal!! I'm only 15! I shouldn't be experiencing this! I shouldn't be crying in a hospital garden because my best friend who is 16 got drunk! I should still be using safety scissors!! My cry still didn't come out loud, big and emotional just a few tears and a little sob. I was seated on a cold hard metal bench and I didn't realize how cold it was until I felt a warm and familiar body wrap around mine. I tense up until I let my brain catch up and remember who this tall and loving body could be.
"I'm sorry." It's almost inaudible but I couldn't trust my voice to go any louder. Alex doesn't say anything rather I look up at him and he just holds me tighter. Ten minutes goes by and neither of us have said a word. I know I can't go back in there. It would kill me to see her that weak. Tia has always been a fighter and to see no color, no blood, no life in her at all would tear me to pieces. Alex caught on and he helped me up and we walked out to his car. My hand in his, our bodies pressed together. We hold each other close until we get to the car. We both jump into the old tobacco smelling truck and we drive. I don't think Alex knows where he's going. Honestly I don't care. I have never liked music whilst I'm driving but I know Alex does, I usually am not a fan really but right now I need a distraction. I press play on his ancient stereo hoping for the best. One of the most beautiful songs I've ever heard plays. I googled it later on it's called 'sick of losing soulmates' by Dodie Clark. I let myself go and I cried out the window.
"Hey, look at me. She's going to be okay." I knew Alex was worried too. I didn't understand how he wasn't breaking down too. But he seemed unsure when he tried to reassure me, it didn't boost my confidence but I nodded to let him know I trusted and believed him. We drove. Radio playing, the roaring engine and the smell of tobacco and Alex. Lavender and confidence. Now lavender and worry. I took in a large breath and sighed. I hoped, I really, really did hope that everything was going to be okay. And that tia would be okay. Maybe.