I Do

1

Liam sat at the table, his muscles pleasantly sore from rearranging his bedroom, as he picked at the plate of food in front of him. He didn't remember ordering, but suddenly the waitress, Jenny, no, Jesy, had been setting several plates down on the table. He glanced up at Louis who was shoveling food into his mouth, but his blue eyes were locked on Liam, much as they had been for the past twenty-four hours. The past week. The past month. Hell, probably the past year, and he hadn't noticed.

He appreciated Louis being there for him, had been there for him for as long as he could remember. The two of them had been friends since Liam's birth. Since before that if you asked Louis who loved to tell tales of him curling up and reading stories to Liam's mum's belly. It wasn't even worth reminding him that he'd only been just under two years old when Liam was born, Louis swore the story was true.

Louis had remained Liam's only friend until primary school, where Liam had met Niall. The two of them were in the same class while Louis was a couple of years ahead, although he'd always managed to sneak out of his classroom and into theirs. Eventually, the teachers stopped looking for him and just gave copies of his classwork to Liam's teachers. The hardest thing to happen was when Louis moved up to the next school and was no longer able to visit.

By the time, Liam and Niall had joined Louis at the upper school, Louis was hanging out with Zayn, so they'd brought him into their fold. Liam had always thought Zayn was one of the most beautiful people on the planet, but nothing had ever developed between them until much later in their lives. After Liam had been through so much heartbreak, he thought he didn't have enough pieces left to give his heart away again.

Zayn had convinced him otherwise. It was a hard road. Liam was constantly apprehensive about becoming serious and was downright terrified of every "next step" they had taken together. His doctor had prescribed him anti-anxiety meds on the eve of he and Zayn moving in together because the panic attacks had gotten bad enough to land him in A&E.

After living together for two years, Liam thought things were finally getting settled. He thought that he and Zayn had found a place in their relationship where they could both live comfortably. Then Zayn had started dropping hints about getting married. Liam would find pieces of paper covered with "Zayn Payne" or "Liam Malik" or "Malik-Payne" lying around the flat. Joking about trips being honeymoons. He would refer to Liam's parents as the 'in-laws'.

At first, it was all terrifying and Liam spent hours talking to his counselor about it. His counselor finally had him look at the logic of everything. Zayn had been in his life for years and hadn't gone anywhere. He had seen Liam at his absolute worst and hadn't left. Liam began to take comfort in that, and, when the counselor asked Liam to imagine his future without Zayn, Liam just couldn't do it.

So, he'd gone out and bought Zayn a ring. He'd planned over and over inside of his head how he was going to ask him. He'd planned elaborate dates and even trips to far off places and chickened out every single time. He'd head into his room instead to take a pill and go to bed. After carrying the ring around for six months, Liam had come home one night, ready to do it. He had spent the entire day planning it out. He'd stopped for Zayn's favourite takeaway. He'd picked up a dozen deep red roses and had put together a special playlist. Lastly, he'd stopped and bought a really expensive bottle of wine that he knew Zayn loved, but that he wasn't overly fond of himself.

Then he'd walked into the flat and knew immediately something was wrong. Zayn's line of boots wasn't waiting to be tripped over, instead Liam's boots were standing alone in a line, heels to the wall. He'd opened the foyer closet and found it half-empty, Zayn's warmest jackets missing. He hadn't even bothered looking further, he could feel the emptiness of the flat. He'd dropped his coat to the floor and fell back against the door, sliding down until he was leaning up against it. Using his key and not caring about the cork, he'd managed to get the bottle of wine open and started drinking.