♤ SIO Oneshots & AUs

Maxx Danziger 》 Dead End Dreams

Prompt: The plot twists too many times and you've [Maxx] has had enough.

Maxx sighed and ran a hand through his hair, staring past his laptop and out into the medium sized window in front of him. He knew that he had to get something out today, however, due to the overwhelming amount of rain this week, he was unable to even capture one clear shot. It seemed as if everything was against him recently.

Pistol stretched, kneading her claws into his pillow, and headbutted his free hand. Maxx couldn't help but smile at how precious she was. He understood why people say that their animals are like their children now. He had no idea where he'd be without her.

Maxx's phone chirped to life and alerted him that it would soon begin to downpour, near flood- like. He knew he had to get something done today otherwise he'd end up staying in this creative slump for who knows how much longer.

He pulled the strings tighter on his Dorito™ colored hoodie, grabbed his camera -ziploc baggie included for waterproof protection- and headed out, kissing his daughter on the head one last time.

Maxx looked down the hallway and squinted his eyes, unsure of what he was seeing. Maybe he should have grabbed his glasses as well since there was no way he was face to face with a 6 foot, doll -complete with blinking eyes and moving chest- replicating the beloved purple dinosaur, Barney.

Maxx opened his mouth searching for any kind of words to say, thinking that maybe one of his neighbours had gotten a job as a mascot and was coming over to tell him. He racked his brain for anywhere that was currently looking for mascots or where you could a suit that looked so real.

The doll - or was it a person?- opened it's mouth before letting out a loud "moo", slightly shaking the walls of the apartment. Its face began to melt away and distort into that of his bandmate, Dan's. It raised am oddly small hand, wait no, it's a paw?, towards him.

Maxx slowly backed away, eyes locked with whatever was in front of him, his hands feeling along the wall for the elevator call button or fire escape door. His fingers wrapped around the handle of something and he pushed back -only to find it was a pull door, of course now would be the time for Maxx to get them confused- and launched himself the flights of stairs, taking 5, 10, 15 steps a time.  He didn't question it, as long as it helped him get away from the Dan-Barney thing.

Maxx broke free from the apartment and looked around at his surroundings, confused as to why he was in, where was this? The signs around him were in a forgein language, one he had seen before but couldn't place right away under these given circumstances.

There was a disturbingly loud rumble, shaking everything around him, causing him to let out dusty a cough. He craned his neck up to look at the now Godzilla sized version of his...cat? What in God's name was happening?

Pistol -if that's what it was- stared down at him and lifted her paw, bringing it down directly on him.

It should have crushed him, he should be smushed flat into the cement right now, but he...wasn't? Maxx looked through his crossed arms, trying to figure out what was happening.

His mind was racing a 100 miles an hour, unsure of what timeline or fever dream he was currently stuck in. He grunted and pushed his arms out, sending Pistol flying back.

Maxx looked down at his hands and, for test, flung his hands out like you would do if you were shooting web from your hands. But, instead of being a master web-slinger, Maxx shot asteroid sized fireballs from his palms.

Maxx groaned and stomped his foot, glaring up at the sky. "Seriously?! Just pick a goddamn plot and stick it with! Also a giant Barney doll? How un-fucking-scary could you get? Who the fuck looks at him," Maxx gestured towards the now shapeless blob. "And goes, 'hey that's really scary!' Oh right, they don't!

"A-and!" He swallowed and pointed his finger up like a disapproving mother would when scolding her naughty child. "Tokyo? You turned my apartment into Tokyo? You couldn't have done Florida or something familiar to me?" Maxx rolled his eyes, ran a hand through his hand and walked in a circle. "And stop making me sigh and touch my hair! It's annoying, stop!"

Maxx felt his hand raise up towards his hair and screamed in frustration. "And then you fucking make me a superhero? Not even a cool one! I'm not fucking Spiderman or some shit, no I can run down stairs quickly and shoot asteroids our of my hands, which doesn't even make biological sense! Where am I hiding these?! Up my fucking ass that leads to another dimension where - Wait let me guess!- I'm fucking my best friend, Cody in the bathroom of an Olive Garden?"

Maxx looked up at the sky again, flipping it off with both hands. "Just fucking turn everything back to normal already." He crossed his arms and watched as everything slowly turned back to normal. Maxx walked back towards the fire escape door and looked up once again.

"Oh, and can you make me have something to post today? You know, I figured you can do that since you've fucked my day up today. Also, there should be a free XL pizza sitting on my nightstand with The Office in queue when I get back an-" Maxx ducked before the piece of driftwood could hit him in the head and walked off back into his room in surrender, where The Office was on queue and there was a free XL pizza on his night stand.