TRIGGER WARNING!!! (Depressive episode ) ((I just want to make sure that no one gets upset with this chapter))
'Maybe I am the mistake...'
Help, I have done it... again...
After an hour or two of full on running. I found an old, small, abandoned house in the middle of a big field. I walked inside and sat in an dusty dark corner. I pulled my knees up to my chest and buried my face into them. I sat there and just cried.
I, have been here many times before...
In my first life. I was diagnosed with depression... I took pills for it so it was fine. But... now I'm in a world that doesn't have anti depressants. I never realized how this happy and great world could turn so dark and empty.
Hurt, myself again today...
And. The worst part is there's
No. One. Else. To. Blame!I should have told him sooner. I should have told everyone sooner. What is wrong with me?! I have no one. No one else to talk to, to turn to, to love, or... to blame for this...
Well. I guess I have to blame myself.Be my friend. Hold me
I've lost everything...
I grab fist fulls of hair and pull. Crying turns to yelling. And my body tenses up to a rock.Wrap me up. Unfold me
I hit my head with my hands. "Stupid, stupid STUPID!" I yell at myself. I stand up.
I am small, and needy
I start kicking and hitting things. And crying and yelling. I do this for awhile until my fists are bloody and
my toes are in pain.Warm me up...
Still standing, I grab my hair again. I looked at the mirror I had broken before and stared at the mess that was me. My e/c eyes were bloodshot and filled with tears. My s/c cheeks were red and tearstained. My hair was stuck in the tears and I sat there. Just staring at myself. My heart was filled with hatred....
And breathe me~
Not hatred for people... but... hatred for myself. I hear heavy breathing behind me. I turn around and see,
"Yunan?"
_____________________
Oof. That was a hard chapter. Yes it was short but I don't want to make you peeps feel to sad. But another chapter will be up this week! And I might make some more sad chapters but, nothing like this one (hopefully) so yeah. Once again I love you peeps and you all are great! Love you all, and stay safe! :3
-Lee
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