SAVE ME - changlix.

3

TW/ ATTEMPED SUICIDE
PLEASE DON'T READ IF YOU GET TRIGGERED OVER TOPICS LIKE THIS!!

CHANGBIN'S POV
the nights i didn't pass out i wouldn't be able to sleep, and of course chan found out. he brought me to the doctor and i was prescribed sleeping pills.

at school a rumour had gone around about me. you did ask me why i skipped school all that week, i told you i was sick. i know that you found out i wasn't sick and you were upset over the fact i lied to you, at the time i wasn't worried about you being mad at me i had much more things to worry about.

that week after i skipped i went back to school. that's when everything hit a rock bottom.

when i came home from school, everybody was out, i tucked myself into bed and swallowed every sleeping pill i had left. my mind went black and i started drifting into a deep sleep.

when i woke up i heard chan crying. i turned my head slowly to look at him, i was in hospital.

after the doctors tested me to make sure i was ok, i had to stay there for the night. that's when chan explained everything to me.

he was the first one to come home and he knew i would already be at home. he had cooked dinner and went to wake me up, and i was stone cold and he saw the box of sleeping pills on the floor. he immediately called the ambulance.

i was put on suicide watch all last week. that's why chan was with me all the time. he would check up on me.

i'm pretty sure i'm soon starting therapy, the doctors told chan it would be a good idea if i did so he signed me up.

i wanted to make this video as it would be easier to explain to you in a video than in person. i'm really sorry felix. i let you all down. i hope this explained everything.

thank you for taking time to watch this.

-
changbin stopped the recording, once he has watched over it to make sure he had said everything he wanted to say. he took a few breath in a sent it to felix.

he immediately got a pain in his stomach, it was because he was worrying so much. he decided to go to sleep. felix would wake him up when he wanted to talk to him.

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"changbin" he heard a whisper

"changbin, it's time to wake up" the whisper said again.

changbin slowly opened his eyes, for a minute his vision was blurry. he saw a head of fluffy brown hair.

"hey" said a deep voice

fuck. it was felix.

changbin sat up and rubbed his eyes. felix didn't say anything as he wanted to give changbin a minute or two to wake up.

"so changbin i wanted to talk to you about something"

"yeah i kinda guessed you would.." changbin said quietly.

"changbin, it kills me that you kept this all to yourself." felix said

"i'm so-"

"listen changbin, you have nothing to be sorry for ok?, just let me talk"

changbin nodded and listened to felix.

"i knew over the past two months something was off. chan definitely seemed closer to you. at the start i passed no remarks on it but i started getting jealous after a while. now i completely understand why. i hate that i didn't ask you if you were ok."

changbin didn't realise but he was crying.

"hey hey, no need to cry. now i have an idea."

"what?"

"i hope you'll be ok with this, we're gonna start fresh. i know depression doesn't just disappear in the blink of an eye and i completely understand that, i just never ever want you to get so low that you'll try to commit suicide."

changbin nodded, it sounded like a good idea.

"felix?"

"yes?"

"can you, em stay by my side durning all of this?"

"i'll be by your side as long as you want me to"