On our younger years, I have seen how hard you cried when you tripped and fall. Someone offer you a help.
While me—too young, dumb and innocent—instead of giving you a hand, I laughed at you really hard.
Puberty strikes and bunch of our schoolmates were hitting on you including your ultimate crush, who happens the one who helped you back then.
You were giddy on how you told me everything. I saw your eyes shimmering in delight. While I, felt a pang in my chest.
In that moment, I know we were both in love—Me to you while you to him.
I wanted to crush your crush but I never wanted to crush my world. That's why I did nothing but to watch your aesthetic smiles with him.
Months later you officially and finally became his. Your pleasure and my downfall. I was happy that you were happy but I wasn't happy for myself. If this was the price for laughing so hard when you fell when we were young, I never should have done that.
I never should have done that.
'Cause it was not funny how you fell for someone else, at all.
Several years after, we became more mature. We grew apart. We separated ways. Our circle of friends became different. But that doesn't necessarily means I never stop loving you.
One night, I knew you were still in good terms with him that's why I was surprised that you came rushing at me. You were crying. You told me everything, again. How something happened to the both of you. How he became cold to you. How he treated you like a trash after what happened. It was maddening. I really wanted to crushed your world that time but you stopped me. You said you dearly love him and you can't afford to see him in pain. The pain you were giving me was excruciating. You were madly in love with him, like how I am madly in love with you. We're so stupid. And it was scaring.
After that scenario you've became wasted. You've became I never thought you will be. You've changed. And everyday you became worst.
I wanted to save you.
I really wanted to save you but how can I?
How can I save you if you were rejecting my help?
How can I save you if I wasn't made to be your lifesaver?
How can I save you if I wasn't the man you love?
How can I be him?
I can prolong your life but I can't save you. That's what all I can do for you. That's what I am to you.
I know things will end but it was not the way I expect to be.
An ordinary day turned to be a great despair.
You have taken your life away.
And I am now watching how you burned into ashes.
If only I know you will end up like this, I never should have laugh at you very hard.
I should have helped you and fall for me instead.
I regret laughing at you very hard.
