Marco
She's here.
"You look good, Darling. Life back in the Philippines has been good to you," she told me in her thick accent that hasn't disappeared even if she had been living in London for a number of years now.
I was so surprised to see Natalia that I think I was immobile for a good five minutes. She still looked as good as I remember, I used to go for those model types, you know? And getting to know her through work helped me know her on a personal level and then eventually be in a relationship with her.
I loved Natalia, deeply. The two years I spent with her was the longest I've been in a relationship and our separation was only because she wanted to get married and I told her I wasn't ready yet. She broke up with me and for a period of time, I was lost. As I was picking up the pieces, an offer from a certain doe-eyed girl from Manila piqued my interest.
Anna. Shit.
I whipped around and saw her staring serenely at me and Natalia, who hasn't let go of my arm. I was in trouble. Anna never had a "serene" look. She was bored, happy, sad, broken, blissful, incensed... never serene... especially when I was in the arms of another woman. I knew from the invite that there were three teams to be awarded, but I never bothered to find out who the others were. I was just so happy to be recognized and then be able to bring Anna here to see me accept it.
"I, uh," I shrugged out of Natalia's grasp quickly, because Anna's eyebrows were now arched in question, still with that serene look. Deep, deep shit, I thought . "Anna, let me introduce someone to you."
Anna stood and went to my side. She was shorter than both Natalia and I, but at that moment, she commanded our attention. "Yes, Marco?"
"Anna, I wanted to introduce to you a good friend from before, Natalia Varga. Natalia, this is Anna Cortez, my wife."
Anna offered a hand that Natalia took. "It's nice to meet you. You're very beautiful," Anna graciously commented. "I'll leave you two to talk. I abruptly left one of Marco's colleagues and I should come back to that."
Before she exited, I pulled her arm and whispered, "I'm in trouble, aren't I?"
Anna looked at me but only said, "Let's talk later."
Once Anna was out of earshot, Natalia said, "Married? I thought you didn't believe in marriage, Marco?"
"Well..." I let the sentence drop off because there was no way to explain what I was currently in. I also didn't feel like I needed to. Galit kaya si Anna? Siguro naman she knows she has nothing to worry about? Selosa ba yun?
I realized that there was still so much I didn't know about Anna and I was curious to find out. I looked over to where Anna was seated and smiled at her profile. I knew she didn't like to be in crowds, but this one-on-one conversation with my a former teammate of mine was something she could handle. It looked like the guy was entertained with her because he laughed at something Anna said but turned back quickly to hang on to what she was still saying. Teka, ako yata ang nagseselos. Asawa ko yan huy.
"Marco?"
Ay oo nga pala, kausap ko pa si Natalia. I looked at Natalia again and couldn't help but admit that I still held a certain fondness for her.
I am... conflicted.
"Natalia, I should get back to my wife."
She looked like she wanted to say something more but I took my seat then and turned to Anna, effectively ignoring Natalia the whole night. Once in awhile, I would turn to that direction when someone would loop me in the conversation but my focus that night was Anna.
Still, in those brief moments that I spoke to Natalia, I was reminded of how good it was with her. We were in the same field so it was much easier to use common terminology and I didn't feel like I'd have to tone down the jargon, like I do with Anna. Natalia also seemed to be in a reminiscing mode because there were times when she would say, "Do you remember when we went to this place? It was so beautiful and you got me..."
I would catch Anna look at me questioningly then turn away, but there was no big scene, no drama. But when we were finally awarded, Anna looked so proud of me and that made me feel like I was on top of the world.
The party turned to dancing and of course, I was at the centre of it. I missed this! I used to be the life of every party I was in, getting everyone to dance, passing drinks to people and chugging them down myself, going home wasted and then getting up early the next day because of work - and then do it all again.
Life with Anna has been much tamer than that. She liked having a few drinks once in awhile but she didn't feel the need to get drunk often. She used to tell me, "I had that phase in my life, but now I'm over it. I hate the feeling of a hangover."
I do remember that once we went out for drinks when she was still living here, but I got bored with her. There I was getting people to get up and dance and I can't get her to. She just rolled her eyes and waved me off.
This time, I approached and asked her quietly, "Do you want to dance with us?"
Expectedly, she said no, "You go ahead. Have fun and enjoy your night."
I kissed her forehead. "Thank you. Let me know if you want to go ha? "
"Yes. Now go! Have fun."
Natalia and I ended up dancing in a group. I was polite so danced side-by-side for about a minute, while I looked for Anna, then as soon as I spotted her with John Landers' wife, excused myself and headed her way. I caught her dancing and singing to the song. "Hi Baby! I love this song!"
I couldn't help but join her smile. She wrapped her arms around my neck and we sang and the rest of the song, until it changed to a slower one. She moved close and sang in my ear.
"I'm gonna love you... like I'm gonna lose you... I'm gonna hold you like I'm saying goodbye..."
I pulled back so I can look her in the eyes. "I'm sorry if I'm hurting you."
"Let's talk about that tomorrow. Let's not ruin tonight." The song changed again and she suddenly had this naughty look in her eye and moved closer again.
I now know why only select people should see Anna dance. It was too sexy and too tempting, and when she's singing in your ear "Let's go all the way tonight..." how do you not get lost?
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Note: Songs are "Like I'm gonna lose you" - John Legend and Meghan Trainor; "Teenage Dream" by Katy Perry
