Do You Believe in Fate? [Stopped Incomplete]

Chapter 6

It took a week to settle Colin into our life. He never complained about the house, though I knew he didn't like it – I didn't like it, why should he? Colin talked with Drew, and together they hashed out a legal plan of action for dealing with Blair's father. My lawyer certainly seemed to approve, and I was grateful for Colin's insistence to help in this matter. The mere thought of Blair's father having more rights, or otherwise making trouble, made my stomach clench in fear, and roil in anger. Altogether I was feeling nauseated a lot. One of the girls at the fast food place actually asked me if I was pregnant. I'm pretty sure that I turned grey as I tried to explain that I was just stressed beyond belief. I shuddered at the thought of being pregnant. It's not that I didn't want to have more children, I wouldn't even mind having them with Colin. It was that Colin had been with us for a week, and for all of that week we had slept in the same bed, with me in his arms (which was a very comfortable, and comforting place to be), but I was nowhere near ready to be that intimate with him. Even though I wanted to be.

Colin adored, and spoiled, Blair. They had become fast friends. Colin made it a point to spend an hour everyday with Blair (well the five days out of seven that we had him) doing whatever he wanted. They painted, and read books, they made up stories, they went on walks to familiarise Colin with the neighbourhood. Blair got to play at being a tour guide on their walks, and loved every minute of it. On Sunday I got up and they were baking biscuits together, and arguing playfully over whether they were biscuits or cookies; an argument I ended by explaining that unless they are bigger than my hand they are biscuits.

Everything was just so easy. Colin and Blair got along. Colin and I got along. Sure I wasn't ready for sex, but I got the feeling that Colin wasn't terribly interested in broaching that kind of distress in me – especially knowing what he did of my personal history.

It was a week of grace, and I knew it. So, I made sure to appreciate it all the more, as much as I was able. I was pleasantly surprised that Blair hadn't said anything to his father about Colin's presence in our lives. It meant that, so long as we were proactive, his father wouldn't have a chance to twist everything before our actions showed that we had done everything as best we could. It wouldn't help a lot, but it would help. And it told me a lot about the relationship between my son and his father.

That week of grace was a better birthday present than any other could possibly have been. Though Colin cooked for me again, I could get used to being spoiled like this. I was coming home every night to an impeccably prepared, incredibly delicious meal cooked by my very own house husband, who was so beautiful it was hard to breathe when I looked at him. The two nights a week that I poured pints, he cooked me a huge meal before work and was still up with a cooked breakfast ready for me when I got home. He cooked wearing my apron too. Colin looked after me; in a very tangible way that no one ever had before. It wasn't just about making sure that I ate, and ate good food (and boy was it good food!), he made me feel as if I were important to him. And if you asked him he would tell you that Blair and I were the most important people in his life right now. I struggled to come to terms with how much he cared for me; I could understand it with Blair, Blair loved with everything in him, and he loved Colin already. It was a little bit of hero worship I think, but children love freely – and that is exactly as it should be.

Of course Colin couldn't possibly be expected to not buy me a birthday present on top of everything else. I rolled my eyes just thinking about the utterly extravagant gift of a full vintage-style tea-service. I took a great deal of pleasure rolling my eyes at Colin every morning over the rim of my tea cup. It was beautiful, and I loved it. More than that, it was me; and I wondered how he knew it. I knew just the person to ask, and I couldn't afford the call. Alright, so, if I accepted Colin's money I could afford it. But I wasn't ready to go quite that far yet. Hell I would rather sleep with him...