Facade

Grapple

grap·ple
/ˈɡrapəl/

struggle with or work hard to deal with or overcome (a difficulty or challenge).

He at once attempted to grapple with the difficulties of the situation.

——

It's been a month since we last talk. It's been a month that I've waited for her to knock at my studio's door with her funny antics to make me talk to her.

Even Ahjumma Mina is asking about the beautiful girl who always visits and gives her wonderful cakes.

It's been a month and I missed her badly.

My pride is not allowing me to see her again. If I don't make her happy then why the fuck should I care?

After almost three months of trying to make her move on. The photos of their wedding made her a mess. My presence didn't mean anything.

I thought our relationship was more than the casual sex we are enjoying every now and then. I thought the times we shared our stories meant something.

When she listens to me when I'm almost at the point of depression worrying about the success of our group. When she offers me advices about pressure. When she says something that inspires me to do a song. When she rants about her mom. When she told me why she change her name. When she told me how she struggled as a child with parents that expects too much from her.

I thought it meant something.

Maybe it did, but it wasn't enough.

I wasn't enough.

For a month, I did try to forget about her. To forget about what happened. Heartbreaks seems to be communicable. I can't move on as well.

Not that I didn't try. I tried sleeping around, but she was all I can think about to the point that I even shouted her name while having sex with someone.

When the hook ups didn't do anything, I stopped. If anything, it only carved out more emptiness within me, the realization that it must've have been how she felt about me, the empty sex while thinking of another person in my mind.

"Hyung, you seem like you're into some deep thought." Jungkook asks, he was wearing a hoodie and a mask on his neck. He was going out.

How can a fucking twenty year old boy figured his life out when I can even make a woman like me?

I know the answer. Because he's brave. He's fucking committed to his feelings even if his best friend almost broke every bone in his body. He almost got killed on a standoff just to make the same best friend happy.

I fucked my way into her life so I guess she decided to fuck up my life real bad.

"Going out with Jinri?" I asked.

"Nope, with Taehyung... karaoke night. Jinri's still has her thesis unfortunately. Wanna come with us?"

I shook my head. Singing with vocal line is not my cup of tea. With Namjoon probably but not with these two. I would sound like a dying duck against their angelic voices.

Jungkook begans to tap his fingers at the table. Looking outside and at his watch. Taehyung is making him wait.

Everyone can't be perfect. One of his flaw is his impatience. Or maybe that is also his strength. He found the girl of his dreams. The intelligent girl from Busan. He proposed immediately.