365 Days || a.i

Chapter Three

"You know that smoking is bad for your health and will kill you right?" I said to Ashton who was just about to light his cigarette but dropped it at the sound of my voice. I guess he didn't expect to see me ever again.

It's been exactly three days since I met Ashton on this bridge and he was standing at the same spot he did three days before just like he said he would. The night I met Ashton I stood on the Reading Bridge until 1am thinking about all the things he told me. Ashton sparked my curiosity with his words and I couldn't bring myself to stop thinking about them and about his little pact with himself even if I would have tried to. His words replayed in my mind over and over again making me realize lots of things. Just like Ashton I did not want to kill myself, I wanted to be a normal human being and enjoy life. I wanted to have a life.

So I made up my mind that night thinking "Would it really hurt if i would do the same? Would it really hurt if I would at least try to be happy?". With those thoughts running through my head I walked home- thankfully not getting raped by a stranger or hurt by the storm, and promised myself before I went to sleep at home that I would wake up the next day and appreciate it. I promised myself that I would try to see the world in a different light and that I wouldn't hate myself and every other human being. And I promised myself that I would definitely meet Ashton at some point in my life again.

That night I made three promised and I only kept one. The first promise that I broke was the "appreciating the next day" part. I certainly did not appreciate the next day. I woke up at 5 am that Tuesday feeling more sick than ever but that's what you get for staying out in the rain for hours and hours.

Being sick made me hate life even more, I may have overreacted but it felt like god was showing me that I made a mistake by not ending my life the night before. I overreact a lot which is annoying myself and everyone else at the same time but I can't help it, "Why didn't i kill myself last night again?" I thought to myself as I rolled over in bed and got up to take a shower.

The second promise that I broke was the trying part. I did not try to be happy or see the light in a different light at all. Everything was still annoying me and I still hated the world. I didn't even try to smile or enjoy anything. I just kept hating the world like I did before.

Sad, disappointed in myself and feeling sick, I got out of the shower, got dressed and left the house before my parents would even have the chance to wake up since I did not have the patience to argue with them about how I got home way too late and that at a school night. Leaving the house with my still wet hair I was determined not to break my third promise. I would try to find Ashton.

I don't even know why I wanted to find Ashton that badly, I guess he gave me hope. I was fascinated by him and wanted to know more about his story. So I skipped school and walked up to the Reading Bridge in hopes of finding Ashton there at some point. He had said the he would go there every third day but I didn't want to take the chance of missing him. For the past two days I'd skip school- which is not a problem for me since I do it all the time yet my parents somehow never find out, and waited for Ashton to show up.

Doubt would cross my mind every now and then when I would receive judging glances by strangers passing by me, but I didn't have much to loose anyway. So what if I wasted two days for my mystery boy to show up? It's not like I would have done anything other than sit around in my room and listen to music. And that's what I did at the bridge, I would tune out the sound of the city and listen to music not caring about anyone. People probably thought I was mental just standing there on a bridge but I didn't care.

It was the third day and Ashton still didn't show up, it was only 5pm though so I did not loose hope in seeing him here. But by the time when it was half past five pm i got cold and decided to buy me a a hot chocolate by the coffee shop a couple blocks away from here. Drinking my hot chocolate I felt a little warmer inside already and made my way to the reading bridge once again. When I got there though I wasn't the only there. 

I saw Ashton lean over the railing and he was just about to light his cigarette. When he heard my voice he dropped his cigarette and turned around to face me. Shock was written on his face but turned into annoyance seconds later. 

"What are you doing here?" He sneered down at me. Wow what has gotten in his pants today?

"Well who's the grumpy one now huh" I said sipping my hot chocolate casually. 

"That's not the point" Ashton groaned out, "why are you here though? I thought you'd be dead by now" He said getting another cigarette out, this time lighting it. 

Well ouch that one hurt. "I prefer you drunk at least you're not an ass then" I huffed, "but to answer your question I was obviously waiting for you." Saying it out loud made me realize how creepy that actually sounded. 

"Wait what," he laughed, "how long have you been here for" he got out between laughs. 

"Since 9am" I mumble out now embarrassed at my confession to him.

"Are you for real right now?" when Ashton saw me nod he started to laugh once again, it started to annoy me and I began to walk away. "Wait hold up, don't look so sulky." he said while grabbing my wrist to stop me from walking away. 

"Will you stop laughing?" I murmur out still embarrassed but at the same time annoyed by him. I hate it when people laugh at me. 

"Yes I'll stop laughing" Ashton said smirking. "Although I do have to say that I'm quite creeped out about the fact that you actually waited for me all day long here" He started giggling again.

"Alright I'm leaving" I stomped my foot on the ground like a five year old child and walked away. I dumped my hot chocolate in a trashcan and started speed walking. 

"Hey wait up," I could hear Ashton walking behind me, "cmon don't be a bitch you'd be creeped out by that too."

Whirling around I hissed at him "Did you just call me a bitch?" "Oh uh I didn't mean it, I just, hey wait up." He said when I started walking again. "Cmon don't be like that I already said that I didn't mean it." Ashton grabbed my wrist once again and turned me around. He was pouting which made his dimples more visible than ever. 

I was seeing Ashton basically for the first time since it was too dark for me to see anything when we first met. I didn't mean to stare at him for too long but I couldn't help it I was mesmerized by his hazel eyes which had a tint of green in them. He had a bandana keeping his golden hair out of his face and he had a stubble growing on his chin which made him look even more attractive. As I was staring at him like the sex god he was I noticed him laughing once again.

"What" I snapped. 

"You were staring at me again, I think you really should take a picture of me." Ashton said while smiling wildly showing me his teeth. 

"God that was so cheesy" I was laughing now too, his giggle was contagious.

"You gotta admit that it was cute though." He smiled. Without noticing we both started walking along the Thames path side by side . 

"It's not cute, it's not even funny. If it wouldn't be for your contagious giggle then I wouldn't even be laughing." 

"I do not giggle" Ashton said while giggling. "But you just did!" I laughed out bumping my shoulder into his. 

It's weird how comfortable I was around Ashton who's basically a stranger when I didn't even act like that with people that I have known all my life. He has such a calm attitude and he may have acted like a jerk a few times but he's still so nice, I felt like I could be myself around him. I didn't have to think twice I could just act the way I wanted to around him. 

"You know I still don't know your name" He nudged me back with his shoulder. When I looked up at him I noticed him staring and smirked when he started blushing. He knew that I caught him this time. Smiling back I said

"I'm Brandy."

a/n: gosh this is such a boring chapter, i'm going through some shit rn i was surprised that i actually could update today but anyways it's just a filler though so yeah. do not comment on any grammar errors or typos i didn't edit. but apart from that comment maybe? or vote? idk i feel thirsty while asking this but i just want to know if it's even worth writing.