Amber Lynn has always wondered how people control their emotions so well. No good days or bad days, an 100% bulletproof mood, to have total control over her emotions. It sounds like a complete fantasy to her. But after some experience she realizes...
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~ A m b e r ~
It wasn't hard for me to make my decision. It was a no. An absolute no.
How could I live with myself if I started to work for the sole competitor for my dead mother's company? And what if I worked there and enjoyed it? Or if I worked there and the business thrived? If I put hard work into the RttB company I'm not going to want to leave it behind. And I will be the co-owner?! I literally made a complete 180 and ran straight to the competition when times got hard. I would feel like a traitor.
I sighed.
But on the other hand, how could I leave Jan to pay for rent all by herself? Because any little money I have needs to go to books and cloths. Jan would have to buy all the food too. How could I ask her to do that? She isn't rich. She isn't poor but she isn't rich either, and she can't take care of our rent all by herself. If I didn't get a job soon she would have to pay for the housing, which although is a dorm it isn't free, the food, her books, her cloths.... I couldn't do that to her.
I leaned back in my chair and tilted my head up toward the ceiling with my eyes closed.
"What's wrong Little A?" Ash asked and put a hand on my shoulder. It was currently lunch time and Ash, Jan, and I were all sitting at our usual Subway table.
"It's a long story." I groaned and rubbed my forehead.
Jan chuckled "We got time. Spill girl." I sighed but complied.
~~
"So I think I'm going to have to say no to his offer." I said and bit my bottom lip while looking down, I didn't want to see Jan's reaction when she realized she had to pay rent and everything by herself. Because that's basically what I'm implying.
I told them all about the call and my internal debate, and all Ash said was "Well you could always get a sugar daddy."
He's so helpful, I know.
Finally when I glanced up at Jan I saw her staring at me with what only could be described as anger. I looked up fully, about to try and make it better, but she spoke up first.
"So, let me get this straight. You're leaving me to pay the entire rent, but my own books, buy my own cloths, buy food for the dorm, and all that stuff! Because.... you're too stubborn to accept help?!" She said growing more frustrated by each word.
My anger spiked, "No. Jan. It's not that I don't want to accept help, it's a complete betrayal to my mother and father. But I'm mostly concerned about my mom. How could I go running to the competition, the people who did everything to destroy my family and our hard work, just because I need to cash?! How can I justify working with the killer?!" I fumed.
"I don't know Amb, maybe you just.... fucking suck it up! Sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do to survive! It's not fair you're leaving me with all these bills to pay because you want to continue a feud that's dead!
