When i look at people I don't notice what they are wearing or what they are doing in looking at there confidence. You see people who have an abundance of confidence that they just show off everywhere to everyone. I wish I had that. I'm not confident and i don't have enough self esteem to doing anything. I cant even be myself, which sucks yeah but it's life. I wanna be able to make my type if jokes and acts the way I feel comfortable but I can't Because I again don't have confidence. I can't get confidence because I'll always feel like in just not good enough that maybe if I was this or if I had that then maybe I would be good enough to get even a sliver if self esteem but I can't. I hate that I sit out when others have fun I hate that I can't talk the way I want to or act the way I want to or even like who I want to because I'll be judged. Maybe if I was just invisible I would be fine but it always seems the opposite like not matter where i go people are always judging. No matter who I'm with people will judge. No matter how I act people will judge. Maybe if I wasn't here I wouldn't have this problem but unfortunately I'm still alive living another day in this miserable paradise
