♡Passive Ogressive♡

•Part Two: Humplestilskin•

●Shrek's POV●

   Is that red fucking hair I see in my swamp?!

   "What the fuck are you doing here?!" I screamed. Rumplestilskin stopped dead in his tracks. He was breathing like he'd just ran a marathon.

   "Well-uh-u-n-nothing!" he stuttered and ran past me and out of the swamp like his tiny white ass was on fire.

   Tiny white ass. Ah, Jenny. The memories her name brought me made my dick tingle.

   I snapped out of it. WHY THE FUCK WAS RUMPLESTILSKIN IN MY SWAMP?!??!!?

   "Fiona!" I hollered once I was in the house. "What was that tiny, red-headed bastard doing in my swamp?!"

   "Shrek? Uh, well, he was, um, looking for you! He said uh, that he was . . . hm, wanted to make a deal! Yeah, that's it! Mhm," she was lying.

   "Bullshit! When he saw me he shit in his pants! What's really going on?" I'd been suspecting Fiona was hiding something from me. "You're cheating on me, aren't you?"

   "Maybe so! But what do you care? For fuck's sake you go out and rape people all the time!" she yelled and got up from my bed where she'd more than likely just fucked my worst enemy.

  "Fiona, I honestly don't give half a fuck if you cheat! But Rumple? Really?" I said. I just couldn't believe it. She knew how much I hated that motherfucker.

   "He loves me! Unlike you! You never loved me you motherfucker!" she screamed and pushed me hard in the chest.

   "Damn right, I never loved you! I just loved the head you gave! Now, get out of my house!" I walked around and threw everything belonging to her on the ground.

   "But Shrek, I'm pregnant! With YOUR babies! I-I need a place to stay," Fiona said and started to cry. I held back tears of my own. I don't care who she was fucking- those were my babies.

   "Fine. But don't put your Rumple-loving ass in or near my bed," I said.

   "Shrek ple-"

   "Don't," I said. She started walking towards me with her arms outstretched.

   "Do not take another step unless you're about to drop on your knees and give me a 5 start knob job." Fiona frowned. She walked past me and laid down on the couch. That's right, you fucking bitch.

   I walked to my bed and got in it, but I couldn't help but gag because I smelled Rumple-skeet all over my sheets. "Son of a bitch!" I hollered at the top of my lungs. "You lazy fucking cunt, you didn't even bother to change the sheets?!"

   "Fuck you, Shrek! Fuck! You! How do you think it felt spending countless nights alone, knowing that you were out raping people?!" she jumped up from the couch, her fists balled at her side.

   "Fiona, not this shit again! I already told you, the only reason I'm mad is because the person you fucked is Rumple-fucking-stilskin!" I yelled. "Also, I haven't raped anyone in two years!" I was shaking from anger.

   Fiona was sobbing. "Shrek, I-I'm so proud of you!" she smiled and started walking towards me again.

   "But, I've actually been seeing someone." her smile faded.

   "Who?" she didn't seem sad or hurt, just curious.

   "Um, well, her name is Jenny. She's a villager from Far, Far Away- she actually lives right by your parents' castle," I explained. Fiona's face shifted from curious to murderous in a millisecond.

   "Jenny? Far, Far Away? By my parents' fucking castle? That slut? That's where she's been all these years?" she said. Her voice sounded monotone. How did she know Jenny?

   "Did you . . . go to school with her or something?" I asked. I've never seen Fiona this pissed before.

   "Mhm," she said and began walking to the door. "Something like that," she slammed the door and I saw her through the window, running at full speed out of the swamp.

  "Fuck!" I yelled. I jumped out of bed and took off after Fiona. She wouldn't hurt my Jenny. I wouldn't let it happen.

• • •
A/N
that's the tea