Onions Stories

[Second Book in the Snacks Trilogy] Accident: [noun] an event that happens by chance or that is without apparent or deliberate cause. -- ❝Hi, I'm calling regarding the Pickled Onions I bought from your company. I was wondering-❞ ❝Er-❞ ❝Well, my sister is pregnant and she's been craving Pickled Onions and so I chose your company and I just-❞ ❝What Pickled Onion? I swear I didn't steal it!❞ ▂▂▂▂ When Jonah supposedly calls Organic Pickles to order some more jars of Pickled Onions, he misdials and ends up talking to a girl who denies stealing Pickled Onions. What can happen from a confusing conversation? If you are reading this story on a platform other than Wattpad, you are at a risk of malware attacks. Highest Ranking : #18 in SS Cover by @ashtonlirwin ©feelthenirvana 2017 All Rights Reserved

One day on your way home you see a new onion store has opened up in town after going in you meet the Lord and savior Shrek. You are taken away by his undeniable beauty. However he's still married to his slut of a wife Fiona. What will happen will he stay with his wife? Will he dump her slimey ass for you? Will you get a chance to ride donkey? These questions and MORE will be answered. Go on a shrexy adventure with shrek and a fun cast of wacky characters Starring Shrek Donkey Fiona Shreks long lost sister Shrekita Winnie the pooh Thomas the train Ronald mc Donald Naruto Jesus Christ Santa Claus Elmo Elsa Spongebob Hello kitty George Washington and a A magical talking pickle that can only say meow. This book will probably be a bestseller and adapted into a Netflix show be on the look out for it.

This OGRE-IFIC ballad tells the story of She-Shrek: The mighty ogress... Aka, Shrek's mother. It tells the Shrektastic story of what an ogre-mama will do for her ogre-baby, and how exactly Ms. She-Shrek got her title of the most terrifying ogress in the land.

A new ogre in town named jake meets up with his old best friend and one night they get drunk at jake's house and... find out !

ALONE? SCARED? DEPRESSED? YOU'VE COME TO THE WRONG PLACE WITH ONIONS AND OGARS. >:D

This is a part of my side project from my Creative Writing module in college, so I compiled all my short shorts and hopefully you'll enjoy reading them. I'll probably write some more soon with an assortment of writing styles (^_^)

The Onion King has returned to claim his throne in the Land of Wild Onions. Soon after, the horrible neighboring kingdom, Aresytea, attacks their peaceful lands and causes a large onion genocide. Can the Onion King win this fight to protect his good people?

MURDOC X ONION

A set of Haiku and Haiku inspired poems about my daily experiences and musings while on the BART (Bay Area Rapid Transit).

Just another day in a rural British dental surgery, until a challenging patient arrives.

BIG SHIT, not little, BIG!

Want to read a thigh-bulging, suspenseful, onion-packed story about a handsome green ogre's days in high school? Well this is the story for you, Shrek must use the power of The Seven Onions of The Prophecy to defeat his foes and spread his religion to all of his unblessed children, but he has to watch out for Dr. Ludwig and a few others as they try to suck the power out of him and use it for their own gain! Will The Onion's mighty power be enough to slaughter his foes and maintain his childrens' immortality? Find out by peeling down to the last chapter and sucking the deep Onion juices of their insight!

Will Shrek do anything for a dozen onions? Read this intense romantic fanfic to find out.

AU: David Bowie has just released The Next Day in 2013 (okay not so AU as this did actually happen) and is blindly in love with his Dom of an Ogre (actual 420% AU as this did not ever happen in real life).

Pickles and onions and ketchup and lettuce and bannana and cucubmer and sausage and hamburger and lemon and juice and spaghetti apple and Sprite

Shrek X Harry Potter . . . . . . . . My lord and savior Shrek, I cannot bare to withhold the day where our paths come to meet, as I, your obedient servant, would fall on my knees in upmost respect and bestow to you my magic stick. I would have no use for an object that can wield magic and my every whim, if I get to meet the almighty Shrek. It would be an action of honor that I might give up something so powerful full as that to you my god. As always, with the most upmost love and respect I give you, I must depart from our conversation once more. Sincerely, Your most loyal subject, Harry Potter. . . . . . . . . Your Welcome. My very spicy group chat and I were spamming each other one night and this was the out come of our boardroom. It was never meant to go this far and all I can say is I'm sorry for ruining HarryPotter for you. We were also very sleep deprived while creating this masterpiece as it was 1:30AM when we finished this. . . CREDITS: CJ, Ella, Abby, and Emma

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