Changing Alice

Well I'm back to writing! Its been a long while since I have written anything. And it really does feel great to start writing again (: Let me know what you think and I can always use suggestions since i will be a little rusty for a bit d:

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Dear Diary,

Life changing. How else do I describe this past year of my life? There is no other way. I sit here today and smile at my memories with you. I try not to hold a grudge at the recent memories. Yet, I remember the amazing times I had with you. I believed you and I would last  forever. Getting married seemed more than just a possibility. We were young and in love. And loving you was the best part in my life. I imagined myself never knowing what love was. The movies made love seem impossible to touch. Love really showed me what life had to offer.  

I'm still hurt how you and I had  ended. After everything we had gone through together, it seems like you didnt care in the end. I needed help, you just didn't want to believe it. If you loved me as much as you say you did. Why did you walk out on me? Love is supposed to be there for the good and the absolute ugliest moments we have. You couldn't handle me, I'm hurt more than you know. I cry for you when no one is looking. Looking strong in front of my friends and family. They all hate you. Yet, I still love you. After all you did, honestly I don't know why, but I  love you more than ever before. 

 Roller land, that place sitll to this day brings back so many memories. I met you there, and a week later you asked me if I would go out with you. Of course I said yes, with the biggest smile on my face. You kissed me then with eyes brighter than I have ever seen. I changed for the better with you. Maybe we weren't ment to be. I know we were ment to find eachother. I fell in love for the first time in my life and it was with you. I smile at all the good memories we had. You opened my sould to a whole new world. I wasn't shy anymore. I was open to more than I was used to. Still wouldn't do some but hell I did a lot more. I can still feel your hands against my cheek and your perfect crooked smile. You always wondered what I saw in you. It was the life you had to offer. I saw so much in you than you could ever imagine. I loved you with my whole heart. What else is there? I loved your wierd ways. Watching you do mechanical work on cars intrigued me. Seeing you hands on showed me the passion you had. Not only for that, but for me. No one saw you this way before with any girl in your entire life. I made you happy. Why couldn't have I seen this before? You held me with such care as if I would disapear into thin air.