"Shut Up Heather!!" | Random Book One

Small vent

My depression is like a deadly virus.
At first, you don't know about it.
You can't see it. You can't notice it.
Until people actually see or find out.
Then everything crashes down like a big wave.
You feel anger, sadness, confusion, anxiety....It's so much on you that you feel like....nothing matters anymore..
But I where do I draw the line?
Where does my depression hit it's lowest level?
It seems to never end.
It's like a black hole
You can't escape from it because it just.....
Swallows you whole.
My depression is like a deadly virus, but also, in it's way....it's like death.
You don't wanna think about it.
But some day....It's gonna hit you. So hard...
If you can't tell already, I've been depressed for a long time. I can spend all day counting all of the things that triggered my depression.
Maybe it was the bullies?
Or the constant yelling my mother does to my sister?

It's all so much...
I feel worthless.
I would be better off dead but...everyone stops me. Everything.
Try and skip dinner?
Mom reminds me and forces me to eat.
Try to cut?
My family doesn't trust me with scissors or knifes. 
Want to overdose?
Mom reminds me to not take more than one pill a day, even if I forget. She's always watching me.

I should be dead...but....You guys....you guys stopped me.
I made friends
Family
Hell, I even had a few lovers for a while...
I'm thanking you all..no, I'm not better yet. But I'm trying so hard....

Thank you.

With love, MintyMoon <3