The "SomeoneJustSpankMe" Chat

We...Are Some Fucked Up People : Part 1

     All I knew when I woke up was that my head FUCKING hurt. The bottle of Jack Daniels that I had dared to chug half down lay by my hand. I honestly didn't even recognize the room we were in, (other than some very, VERY fuzzy memories of the previous night.)

Long story short,
We fucked up.

     I sat up, a mistake really, and put a hand to my throbbing skull...brain... head. (Whatever the fuck you wanna call it.) After a good 10 minutes of just sitting there, I endeavored to survey the room.
     Sam, looking oddly the most comfortable, was hanging half off the opposite bed. He was the least gay of all of us so he shared with Julia, who as I was keenly aware was nowhere in sight. Seb bedded with me cause we said fuck it and it was the usual. Dylan seemed to be the only one in any kind of order, sitting in the one chair with his head on a desk.
     I nudged Seb into a conscious state, he was no better off than I was apparently. All I had to do was threaten to kiss Sam to get him to move.
     "Miss me with the gay shit. I'm asleep," he grumbled as he sat up. "Where's Julia?"
     "Bathtub? There's always someone in the tub," Seb suggested.
     Brave soul that I am, got up to check. "Nope. No one in the tub."
     Our resident zombie, aka Dylan, stirred in his slumber. "She...left," he yawned. "Last night..."
     Much to everyone's amusement, and my regret, I facepalmed. "She could be halfway to Guatemala by now...does anyone know with who?"
     We all had no clue, but we didn't need to. There was a knock 3 minutes later. Our darling Julia, looking just fine, took one look at us and spoke her mind. "Jeez, you all look like crap. I leave you boys alone for one night and you all look like you just went through the fucking apocalypse."
     "Well forgive me if I don't feel like Sylvester Stallone in a Rocky movie," I half chuckled.
     That illicited a bit of laughter from everybody but Dylan, who I'm pretty sure fell back asleep. Julia sat down and started doing those tiny touch up thingies with her makeup. Seb worked up the courage to move and he went in his things to grab a change of shirt. I was in need of a shower, smelling like a drunkard and cologne isn't exactly a confidence booster. I grabbed a pair of jeans, a t-shirt, and my usual button-up I wear over it and headed to the bathroom. Turning on the shower was a hassle for some reason. (I blame the hangover.) I settled and eventually got in the cold shower. I jumped a little at the cold but got used to it pretty quick.
     An hour later (because that's legit my shortest shower) I came out, fully dressed. Everyone was up and the room was now presentable. Once we found my keys as well as Dylan's, another 20 minute task, we decided to go out into the world. Sam and Seb in my car, Julia driving Dylan's with him sleeping in the back seat.
     It took me about 4 and a half seconds to realize two things. My wallet was full as hell AND we were in Los Angeles. I didn't know how, but I didn't care. I wanted to shop a little, cause I'm a spender.
     I turned the car and drove until I happened upon a shopping center. A few minutes later, we were all out of the cars. We headed in to browse cause we all wanted or needed something.
     "Hey you! Stop right there!"
     I sighed and wondered what could possibly be the issue now.
     Two security dudes were looking at Sam. "You need to come with us, sir."
     Sam sighed and Dylan laughed, "I knew one of you would fuck up."