Silent Lullaby

don't despair

this one particular man, whispered his love letter in his last breath, "i'll hold on  to you. the fragment of my life and my memories will be yours once i died. who's gonna remember me if it isn't you? i'll make peace with my worries and let my demons go because the demons aren't here to stay. as we, the believers, know there's no solace in darkness but despair and loss. your love is not mine alone. it is to be shared and spread until all you will worship is the only divinity and not the humble beings. spare me from this world, my love. let me go with ease and peace even though the world will not remember me, at least i know your prayer (du'a) will stay with me. i love you. i love you, dear..." 

hanif read the passage slowly. the notebook in his hand wasn't his but he treats it like his own, slowly caressing the worn out page. like a feather dancing on a naked skin.

"this is... sad. and i feel the loneliness creeping in," he commented. 

mir stared at his face with intensity, the love that he had for him... only ALLAH knows. his hands were slowly hovering on han's face and grasped the skin under his chin gently, "it is. i know the feeling when someone you love leaves you behind. but you taught me how to be patient when the distance separates us," 

then, he bowed down, mumbling his words on han's bare collarbone, "and you taught me how to love and how to care for someone even if said person wasn't aware of it."

the fingers were spread apart, he lifted han's face and kissed him on the mouth. a simple gesture. no need for skin on skin, passionate desire, suffocating lesson except this kiss. enough to make him smile and feel content, "you know how much i loved you. you accepted me as i am. more than that, i can feel it. this love, this care you have for me,  even from afar."

what am i gonna do without you? this frequent asked question i had in me. don't we all?

after hearing such sweet words, han wrapped him in a hug and put his ears to mir's chest. those beats of anxiousness he heard made him smile a little bit, "what a sweet talker."

"you made me like this. you sweet-talk me first, with a bunch of heart touching words,"

"those were recitation of al-qur'an."

"okay, fine. while you're at it, bring me with you,"

"to where?"

"to the paradise. don't leave me behind."