Sherlocks Secret Escape

Chapter Eighteen Sherlock's Letter

Sherlock POV:

After Mycroft dropped me off at mother and fathers house I went straight towards my room but I couldn't help stop the tears that were running down my face, I couldn't help but think about Clara and the letters that she had left for me and Mycroft. I never saw or heard my parents the whole time that I was rushing to get to my room. I hadn't been in my room for many years now, not since I left this house to be in my own apartment. However right now all I could think about was the comfort of my old bed, and the letter that Clara had given me. 

Once I reached my bedroom door, I snapped it open and pulled off my jacket throwing it on the floor. I had no other clothing in my room except for my old pyjamas that I left behind when I left home, so I changed into them quickly and sat down at my desk. I had placed the letter upon my desk in my haste to get changed into my pyjamas, and since I had been sitting down in front of it all I could do was skim my fingers over the top of the delicate envelope. I couldn't help but wonder about what Clara had to write to both of us about, I knew for a fact that neither of us would show the other the letter that Clara had left for us. 

I slowly started to turn the envelope over opening the seal as I did before pulling out the letter, I instantly recognized Clara's writing.

  Dear Sherlock, I know that you and Mycroft would have figured out why I was really in Coalville all this time. I also believe that once you have read this letter, I will either be gone or dead. I am so sorry for you to find out this way Sherlock, but I sware to you I have quit the professional killing business after that last kill. 

Sherlock I was originally in Coalville as a hired killer, earning enough money after each kill. I only ever met my boss once, and even then it wasn't face to face. I'm not going to tell you how much I earned for each of these killings, but I will tell you that I quit the business after that last order because of you Sherlock. 

Sherlock I know you would have figured out also by now that Mycroft and I know each other, and please don't be mad at him for it. I'm going to tell you the truth Sherlock, and I know this is going to hurt you but please don't do anything stupid. 

Mycroft knows me because after a mission four years ago, his team stopped me from killing one of their targets but he still got away. He decided to sign me up and train me, but after a while I left and started to become a free lancer, getting paid to kill for other people. Mycroft had feelings towards me that were more than friendly, I could see it in his eyes when we were out on missions. When I got hurt for the first time free lancing, I went to Mycroft for help and like always he did help me. I was so angry and frustrated, so as a way of gettingThis carried on for the next few years with Mycroft, and when you saw me with those love bites they were from Mycroft. 

I killed that man in the woods that you were investigating, as well as all those government officials. That man was Mike Cable and had killed my father along with help from another man, they tortured him and then that man Mike Cable tried to rape me when his friend went out to talk on the phone. Luckily his friend came back and stopped him from doing anything, but he mentioned a boss and him not wanting me hurt. 

This Mike Cable was hiding in those woods waiting for me, and he shot me twice once through my shoulder and once through my hand. I ran and hid until he went past me, and I'm guessing you know the rest from the crime scene. This was why I went to Mycroft for help, I was in pain and I was extremely angry. 

But I sware to you Sherlock, that I only talked to Mycroft after that on the phone, and the fact that  I was the one that broke his heart. I was the cause of your brother not being in work for two months and being on the drink. I am so sorry for this, but I never thought it would have affected Mycroft like that. I thought Mycroft would have done what he always had done, got on with his life and pretend it never happened. 

I love you Sherlock more than anything, everything between me and you was real and hopefully one day I can tell you all of this too your face. I am so sorry for everything I have done to you Sherlock, and I wish that I could take it all back. I never wanted to hurt you and before your brother goes trying to put this stupid idea in your head, I never used you either Sherlock. I knew that you were helping your brother on a case as your brother had told me that morning before we met, but I didn't know that it was the case where you were hunting for me until I saw you in my course at college. But everything that we done, that was all really and would do it all over again a million times over. Just believe me Sherlock when I say, I LOVE YOU MY BRILLIANT GENIUS AND I NEVER EVER DURING THE WHOLE TIME THAT WE WERE TOGETHER USED YOU FOR INFORMATION ON THE CASE. I love you Sherlock, and I will never in a million years stop loving you. 

I'm sorry for everything Sherlock, and just remember that I will always love you.

I placed the letter back down on the desk and started to cry even more; I was so lost in my thoughts about Clara, that I never even realised my mother had entered my room and was holding me. Clara was really gone and all I had left from her was this letter. 

"Shh, Sherlock its alright." 

"No its not mother, Clara the love of my life it gone and I don't know what to do." 

"Shh, Sherlock Mycroft told me everything already." I just laughed slightly, yeah when it comes to my brother telling my mother and father something that involves the both of us, that variation of his truth ends up with me in trouble or me looking like the bad son while he gets all the cuddles and approvals.  

"Yeah what version. The one where the love of his life is also the love of mine but chose me over him and, then turned out to be the killer that I was helping Mycroft look for. Oh and not forgetting that we arrived at a building where she was meeting her boss for the first time face to face and then the building ending up blown to bits. Or his other version that I don't even want to think about what he has said." I spat out as I looked at my mother with tears in my eyes, she also had tears in her eyes. 

"The one that you just told me." 

"So for once Mycroft has told you something that is true between the two of us. If you don't mind mother I would like to get to bed now." I hugged my mother and handed her the letter telling her to read it and then throw it away, I wanted to keep it but it would remind me too much of Clara and I don't know what will happen to me. My mother left my room and I was left alone yet again, this is how it is always going to be. I will find someone but in the end it turns out I end up alone, I can never have the ending I want. 

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Mothers POV:

After I left Sherlock alone in his room, I went straight towards the living room where I sat down and started to read the letter. As I read the letter I could tell she was telling the truth throughout, and all I could do was sit back and watch my two boys get over all of this. I couldn't help, they never let me help since they were younger. They both just got on with anything that they wanted to do or had happened to them, but I never expected something this big to happen to both of my boys at once I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what was going to happen between my two boys, for all I knew they could hate each other worse than they do already, they could end up doing something really bad to the other or they could just end up causing harm to themselves. But one thing was for sure, my boys once again wouldn't let me help them throughout all of this. 

I got up from my seat in the living room and walked towards my study, I opened up one of the draw and placed the letter inside it. This draw held everything important for my boys, I know Sherlock told me to throw the letter away but I couldn't do that. I could never do that to him, he may be angry, upset and heartbroken but if I had done what he asked and he finally realised what he had asked me to do, he would hate himself for it and could stupidly do something. I am going to keep this letter until Sherlock really needs it.