My Life Story

So my feelings are all over the place

Okay, first of all. Why are my feelings like this?!
So me and my girlfriend broke up, I cri. I still love her, but I also love someone else too. The thing is the other girl is in love with someone else. Now I have twice the heartache, great.
My dad might actually fucking talk to me when I'm over, instead of being a neglectful asshole who just sits on his ass playing videogames. Seriously, the only time we talk is through Snapchat. I have to get a hold of him first, and it's bullshit. (Goddamn that went from zero to one hundred real quick.)
Sometimes I envy my step-sister, because at least he's there for her. After i reached a certain age he just stopped really caring, it's like being thrown away or replaced. It just hurts, so damn much. But, there's nothing i can do about it. He doesn't love my mom anymore and she doesn't love him. They moved on, they each have something better.
My mom has a husband, two dogs, and a decent job.
My dad has a wife, a dog, a step-daughter, games, and a meh job.
But, sometimes I wonder what would've happened if they never divorced or fell out. I wouldn't have had to transfer as often, I wouldn't be as clingy, I maybe would have still been with Lillian, and maybe I wouldn't feel like a hollow shell of who I once was. Maybe I wouldn't have to fabricate a personality out of those I encounter.

I'm being pushed to my limit, I'm not sure how much more I can handle.
Cutekitten4501
I need support rn.