Rain & Ruin

I might be crazy

"Oh shit, I'm a Schizophrenic." I muttered exasperatedly, slamming the giant book of mental disorders I'd been studying for the past hour closed and slumping onto the desk.

Ever since that dream, the fear that I might be going crazy, has been running through my head. I keep having to check that things are really there, and making sure theres no sign of dream boy anywhere, because I'm pretty sure if I saw him again I'd have an aneurism.

The book I had found in the library where I was working, had a whole chapter on mental illnesses that cause hallucinations, Schizophrenia being at the top of the list of diseases my hypochondria seems set on convincing me I have.

The only problem being I haven't presented with any other symptoms, or had another hallucination.

"Ughhh..." I hit my head on the desk again out of frustration.

"Drey," I looked up, my boss Mrs. Pennington, a very tall, forty year old woman (though it looks more like she just turned 30), with a really awesome blond pixie cut, that I was totally jealous of, was leaning out of the door frame of her office, pointing toward the check out desk, "Help him."

I spun my chair around and clicked into the check out log. Grabbing the library card that was waiting on the desk and dragging it under the scanner I told the person, "I am so sorry for making you wait."

"Its no big deal, I wasn't waiting long." A mans voice replies.

"Oh good," then holding out my hand said, "Books please."

He placed them in my hand. I glance at the titles, 'A long walk to freedom' by Nelson Mandela and 'Indiana Jones in Raiders of the Lost Ark'. Hmm.... Biography and adventure, what an odd combination.

"I love the Indiana Jones books." I say to him as I check them out.

"I do too, they're some of my favorites." He chuckles.

I nodded, stamping the due dates on the books and finally faced him. OH SHIT. Do not under freak out. Those eyes, it cant be. Don't do it Drey. Don't show any emotion. Calm down. Staring at me with a look of curiosity was dream boy, his eyes were a brilliant shade of forest green, and to put it lightly he was gorgeous. Oh why couldn't he be real?Obviously this guy has a real face, and your poor deluded brain is making you see dream boy's face.

"Thats cool." Is my voice shaking? "The uh- books are due in two weeks, have a nice day." I try to give him a smile but I know it probably looks more like a grimace.

"Thanks," the smile he gives me is absolutely knee weakening. Oh god I really am crazy.

He turns and as soon the doors shut behind him Mrs. P is right in front of me.

She's gazing at me pointedly and resting her head on top of her hands, "What?" I ask raising a brow.

"He was handsome." She says smirking at me, "And someone was had a mini panic attack when she finally looked at him. I mean it took you long enough!"

I stared at her, trying to figure out how I was going to explain that my freaking was more from the fact that I had been seeing the face of a guy I dreamt about, and then saw in the woods behind my house not because he was hot.

Had I seen him under normal circumstances my awkwardness probably would have been because he was good looking, but sadly these were not normal circumstances.

"Welllllll.." I broke off, still unsure of what to tell her because shes really open-minded, but how open-minded could a person be when they find out their friend has been hallucinating?

"I know that look, you're holding back. You better tell me or I'm gonna ban you from the library." She tells me trying to be scary.

I doubt seriously she could or would ever be able to carry out that threat, she loves me too much. But then again she does love her gossip.