Silence

Chapter 15

Capsize

"Kathy," I hear whispered as I'm softly shaken. It takes me a moment to realise why Red's waking me up when it's clearly night. As soon as my memory catches up with what's currently going on, I sit up, trying to rub the tiredness out of my eyes. Red moves back a little, hovering between sitting on and standing by the desk. I smile, trying to get him to relax before I start signing. Quickly he smiles, the stiffness of his body disappearing. "You sure you'll be okay alone for the night?"

Yes. I'm not making you stay anyway.  Red laughs a little but it's true. He must have been alone for a few hours anyway if the normal time the champions are asleep by is anything to go off, I can deal with a night by myself. We did this on the way here too so he really shouldn't worry, if the sea gets rough I'll come and get him. There's a risk of something bad happening but after years of doing this, I'm confident nothing will go wrong.

"Just remember there are people to wake up if you need them," He says before leaving so I can get changed. He'll be going back up onto the deck until I can come to properly take over. As much as he'll need sleep at this point, we can't leave the deck unattended for too long. It gives me more of a reason to change quickly anyway. If I could I'd take over right now but even I know I won't have a comfortable night outside in my sleeping attire.

It doesn't take me long to get ready, getting changed isn't something I can afford to take me long. Even my jewellery only takes me a few minutes at this point, not something I can afford in an emergency but right now I have the time. Red won't mind seeing how he knows that wearing it calms me down. It's silly, I'll acknowledge that, but some of the pieces I need on to feel right. Before leaving I stop, catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror that hangs on the door. I've grown used to ignoring it when I first wake up due to how normally it's much less pleasant than having Red wake me. It's odd to actually be focusing on my reflection but looking at myself and not seeing bags under my eyes for once is comforting. I take the moment to knot my hair into a ponytail before leaving.

I exit as quietly as possible as to not wake the champions when I don't need to. They'll be up and about all day tomorrow, waking them will just make tired as I'm going to be and, unlike me, they won't be used to that. I smile as I walk out onto the deck, the familiar of the ocean making me comfortable. It's what home smells like. I move to the wheel, greeting Red with a smile.

You can sleep now, I'll be fine. I find myself wanting to insist despite how I know he'll go. For some reason I just do, the idea of him not listening is so strong in my head. Red laughs, stepping away from the wheel and allowing me to take it. While he laughs, he ends up yawning. In response, I look at him, pointing down to where the door below deck is.

"I'm going, Kathy, don't worry," He says, a short smile touching his face. Red starts moving below deck, leaving me at the start of a night alone. At least, it was meant to be a night alone. However, I hear Red speak again. "She's at the wheel. Just remember to do what she asks, she's the captain."

I stand confused, wondering who else would be up at this time. The question is quickly answered as Jordan comes into view. A pit forms in my stomach. Has Tom had time to talk to him yet? Something must've happened or else Red would've taken him back below deck but maybe he just didn't want to argue. Either way, the feeling lingers as Jordan makes his way towards me.

"Hey, Capsize," Jordan says, the tension in the air growing thick. I try not to seem awkward though. If Tom hasn't talked to him yet I don't want to think I hate him because he didn't want to talk me when I got the chance again. He might not realise what it felt like. "I didn't mean to upset you earlier. I thought I'd made an idiot of myself and... I didn't think how it would make you feel..."

Jordan you... I start signing as quickly as I can, seeing the guilty look on his face making me scared he'll turn away when I don't have the communicator on me, before freezing to think. How do I respond? I'd be lying if I claimed that wasn't, at least in part, something I'd hoped to hear - that he didn't mean to upset me - but I don't want him to feel guilty. Complicating the point more, how do I sign to him an explanation with what I've taught him? You don't have to feel bad, I don't want you to.

"I... I can't help it. I thought about everything going on in my head and didn't think about you. That wasn't how I wanted to start this," Until his last words, it sounds like a normal apology, something I've heard many times before. The last few words though, they change everything. What does he want to start? Surely it's what I think he means but I don't want to make a fool of myself again if he doesn't mean that. "I do think you're pretty - more than that you're brilliant. I hate thinking that I upset you because I care about and... gods don't kill me for this."

For a moment I panic, my head leaping to every terrible thing he could do but the ideas are suddenly pushed out of my head as he kisses me. There's a split second of panic before I realise what's going on. Then I stop thinking sparing only a moment's thought for the colour of my cheeks before relaxing. The kiss is brilliant and soft and... and it only lasts a few seconds. As quickly as he started the kiss, Jordan pulls away, an embarrassed look on his face.

"I'm sorry, I should-" I grab Jordan's arm to stop him turning around when I need to talk to him. I need to tell him how I feel, hard as that is when he doesn't fully understand me right now.

I liked it. I sign, not sure if it's enough but Jordan's smile grows. He lets out a breath, I'm sure he was holding, pulling me into a hug with a laugh.

"Oh thank, gods!"

A/n:

So this is the last part before they get to Ianerea and hopefully, it's good. I don't really have too much to say since hopefully, the chapter speaks for itself.

I hope you enjoyed the chapter and any questions are welcome :D