(I have indicated my thoughts in italics)
Suicidal feelings can range from being preoccupied by abstract thoughts about ending your life, or feeling that people would be better off without you, to thinking about methods of suicide, or making clear plans to take your own life.
If you are feeling suicidal, you might be scared or confused by these feelings.
But you are not alone. Many people think about suicide at some point in their lifetime.
"I couldn't see past the pain. It was a different reality for me. I only knew I wanted the pain to stop, the anguish to go away"
What does it feel like to be suicidal?
Everyone's experience of suicidal feelings is unique to them. You might feel unable to cope with the enduring difficult feelings you are experiencing. You may feel less like you want to die and more like you cannot go on living the life you have.
These feelings may build over time or might fluctuate from moment to moment. And it's common to not understand why you feel this way.
Here are some thoughts, feelings and experiences you may go through if you are feeling suicidal:
How you might think or feel:
- Hopeless, like there is no point in living
-Tearful and overwhelmed by negative thoughts
-Unbearable pain that you can't imagine ending
-Useless, unwanted or unneeded by others
-Desperate, as if you have no other choice
-Like everyone would be better off without you
-Cut off from your body or physically numb
What you may experience:
-poor sleep with early waking
-change in appetite, weight gain or loss
-no desire to take care of yourself, for example neglecting your physical appearance
-wanting to avoid others
-self-loathing and low self esteem urges to self harm
How long will I feel suicidal?
Suicidal feelings can be overwhelming. How long these feelings last differs for everyone.
It is common to feel as if you'll never be happy or hopeful again.
But with support and self-help, the majority of people who have felt suicidal go on to live fulfilling lives.
The earlier you let someone know how you're feeling, the quicker you'll be able to get support to overcome these feelings.
However, it can feel difficult to open up to people.
You may want others to understand what you're going through, but you might feel:
-Unable to tell someone
-Unsure of who to tell
-Concerned that they won't -Understand
-Fearful of being judged
-Worried you'll upset them
"Suicidal thoughts aren't permanent - things do improve. You can find your motivation to live again"
