Self-harm among teenagers is reaching epidemic levels in the UK. Almost every report shows that it is on the rise. However, it is not just teenage girls or goths who self-harm, as the stereotype suggests. It is a response to overwhelming pain that people use across their lifespan, and across cultures.
When people talk about self-harm, they tend to be referring to things such as cutting one’s body, self-poisoning, pulling out one’s hair or punching walls and doors. These are socially unnaceptable forms of self harm in comparison to more socially sanctioned forms such as binge drinking, extreme dieting or serially engaging in toxic relationships.
The first thing many people who self-harm will tell you is that self harm is not the problem but an attempt to cope. People who self-harm often speak of the relief the act brings. In the face of unbearable pain, anxiety becomes overwhelming or a feeling of disconnection and numbness takes over. Self-harm punctures these states, returning the person to the body by translating emotional pain into physical pain. Rather than feel too much or too little, self-harm can help people feel like they exist again. This is an act the person who self-harms can initate and control. Often, self-harm occurs when this is the only freedom left. If this last freedom is taken away, the results can be disastrous.
Sometimes people self-harm because they feel alone, angry or not good enough. Self-harm can be really personal and complicated, so it’s okay if you don’t know the reasons behind self-harm.
Some young people start self-harming after a stressful event, like being bullied or abused. It could also be a reaction to something like pressure to do well at school. It’s not always a really big thing that leads to self-harm. You might not even be sure why it started.
Things to remember:
-There are lots of different reasons why someone might self-harm
-self-harm doesn’t define you – there are lots of things that make you who you are
-it’s better to talk to someone and get help, rather than keep it all inside
-you can talk to any childline counsellor, any time
-there are other ways to cope
-and different things work for different people.
