TRIGGER WARNING
I'm very heated rn.
I'm reading this fic right now, and they posted a new chapter. In the chapter beforehand the mc was raped, and the newest chapter is the aftermath.
It's not the actual story that pissed me off, it was the comments.
There's a scene where the mc is just staring at the wall in her bedroom, and one of her friends is trying to comfort her, but she tells her she never asked for her help or comfort and continues to isolate herself.
There are all these comments that are like "alright you ungrateful rat" and stuff like that, and whether they're joking or not, I don't really care.
The author describes an accurate description of the inner turmoil that happens after you get raped. You feel numb, and worthless, and even though deep down you know it's not your fault, you still feel like it is.
When you get raped, you lose apart of yourself, it actually kills you a little.
It's been a little over a year, and I still have breakdowns where I relive every single detail over and over again in my head.
I feel disgusted with myself, that I let it happen to me and that I didn't do anything to stop it. I was just weak and frozen, just letting it happen.
It took me over a year to fully process what happened to me, and accept the fact that the person I thought I loved and would marry in the future, had taken my virginity like it was a prize at a carnival game.
And it wasn't the first time, either. My I was manipulated into my first everything, not even fully understanding the true meaning of consent. I just let myself be sexually assaulted without even realizing that I could stop him.
There are nights when I cry so hard over what happened I start throwing up, and I can't breathe. A couple weeks ago I had a breakdown, and smashed one of our glasses while cleaning the kitchen.
Rape isn't something you just get over. It's something I will never get over.
So please, if you're reading a story that deals the with topic of rape, and the mc begins to isolate and separate her/himself from their friends, do not just assume that they are a selfish bitch.
Same goes for in real life too.
Brea xx
