Dear Diary, My New Mommy

Page 9

You stand next to Tesla sniffling trying desperately to stop. Every now and then you would reach up when you thought that she wasn't looking and quickly wipe a few stray tears away. She doesn't like it when you cry, you've learned that it angers her even more. 

"I've been advised to give you this" She tells you as she reaches into the small desk drawer and pulls out a small pink book with a lock on it. It's a diary covered in glitter, still sealed in it's original packaging, you can see a key attached to the side of it. "This is a diary for you to write down all of your thoughts, I won't read this ever, it's just for your thoughts only" She explains as she hands it to you. You take it in your small hands and looks it over. She continues. "I wish I could erase your adult mind too, it'll make it so much easier on the both of us but unfortunately that's impossible. Currently at least" She looks up as she thinks, then looks back down at you. "It will help you cope and transition better, it'd be wise to use it" 

"Thank - you Mommy" You whisper. You don't want to get into anymore trouble. 

"Mhmmm" Is all she says. She's still mad at you, you hold your head down and look at the floor. She said that since it was your first time, she'd go easy on you. The belt that she used on you was thick and she hit you with the buckle part 20 times. You seriously thought that your were going to die it hurt so bad, then when you cried she got upset and gave you another 5 before bringing you into your room and here the two of you are now. "Go on, I can't stand to look at your right now, stay in this room and I better not here a peep out of you, Am I understood?" She questions with a stern look. 

"Yes Mommy" 

She walks out of the room and you can hear the lock turn on the door. You're locked in again. 

Once alone you throw the book on the floor before running and jumping on the bed. You get under the covers and hide as you cry quietly to yourself. You feel helpless and alone, how are you going to get out of this situation? 

You feel conflicted. The fact that Tesla don't want to be around you right now both pleases and upsets you. First, if she's not around then she can't hurt you and if she don't want you around then you'd be happy if she let's you go. However, on the other hand, a part of you wants her 'mommy'. The nice version of her. The one that looks at you with fascination and tells you that you're adorable. You haven't seen that version of her since you've arrived. The realization upsets you even further. 

Eventually you fall asleep. 

XOXOXOXOX 

You wake up because you feel someone running their fingers through your hair. Slowly you open your eyes and they connect with Tesla who is sitting on the bed beside you, you stiffen in fear not knowing what to expect. 

"Hello Doll" She says sweetly. That voice calms you down just a little bit. "Are you ready to be a good girl for Mommy today?" She questions. You nod quickly. "Good girl,  come on get up" You sit up right away and look at her as she goes to the closet and pulls out a small grey collared dress. With out consideration or asking for permission she starts to undress you. You know better than to protest so you simply allow it. She pulls the dress over your head and then grab a pair of socks out of a drawer and pull them on your feet. Next, she grabs a comb and puts your long hair into two pig tailed braids and ties a small bow on the end of each one. She grabs your hand and walks you over to the long length mirror. "Look at yourself Doll, you look absolutely adorable" 

You study yourself in the mirror and it makes you sick. Being this small again brings back horrible memories. Tesla don't understand the magnitude of her actions. You frown and place a hand on your stomach. 

"Are you sick baby? Mommy has something down stairs that will help you feel better, come on" She pulls on your arm and the two of you walk down stairs. 

You're lifted and placed at the breakfast bar. Tesla goes to the fridge and pulls out a small sippy cup before handing it to you. "Drink that while I go get you something to eat" 

Learning from your mistake last time, you drink what's in the cup. You're not sure what it is, and you're trying not to think about the fact that you're drinking out of a sippy cup. Tesla comes over quickly, she sits an empty bowl in front of you and pour in some cereal and milk. "Eat baby" She instructs before returning the milk to the fridge. 

This Tesla is different from the one that punished you this morning, or the one that threw you in the basement last night. 

"Okay, while you eat, let's go over a few rules, okay?" You nod. "The first rule is of course, always do what Mommy tells you to. Never call me anything other than Mommy. You may have noticed but I don't like it when you say mean things to me, like you don't want to stay with me anymore. That's not nice but I think you've learned your lesson am I right?" You nod. You sure did. "Don't try to run away. Never, tell anyone that I kidnapped you, that is not acceptable behavior from you. Do not try to go outside without permission. I paid a lot of money insuring that you can't get out of this house without my consent. Don't worry, you won't be stuck in this house, in fact, you'll be going to school. It's a special school, I think that you'll like it and it'll help you adjust. Never go into Mommy's room unless I am with you, or I invite you inside, never go into my office, every other room in this house you can go into freely when ever you want. That's the basics, you'll learn as we go. Don't break the rules doll, you know what happens when you do.