For better or worse ( eric divergent)

Chapter 1

Abnegation

I have no words to describe the hell I have gone through in this place. The scars I wear prove so. The selfless faction, the man who represents it doesn't do a very good job at portraying his factions trait.

Marcus Eaton

The man whom I , very unfortunately, have to call father. The man who the very thought of makes my skin crawl. The man who when the thought of him comes to my head I hear the snapping , slapping of the belt against my skin. The tearing of my skin, and the smell of iron as the blood seeps from my wounds.

On the contrary, I myself am rather selfless to a point. Ever since Tobias left I have volunteered more often than not , in order to avoid the torture my 'home' brings. Though I am selfless I do not fit in to the faction whatsoever. I believe after my mothers death I was so lost in grief I forgot the faction borderlines. One thing I have stuck to though is not looking in the mirror, everyone says I look like my mother, whereas Tobias looks like Marcus. The thought of seeing her kills me and if I look like her then I won't look at myself, her wavy brown hair I was rarely able to witness down, her bright blue eyes that used to bring me back from the terror I felt as a child and most of all her smile. I saw it behind closed doors , when father was not home, we would prepare dinner together , she always let me help her by washing the vegetables, it would make me feel useful, like I was needed. But then that smile disappeared , when her death was announced when I was four. I was never happy after that, Tobias would try to make me feel better, though it was a waste of time.

When I was twelve I had had enough, I decided where I was going in six years. Everyday after school I would go running. I walked out of abnegations sector of the city until i reached a part of the city where no one had taken, no factionless, no erudite ,no candor , no dauntless , no amity, just me. I would lift heavy rocks for my upper arms, and run three miles everyday. I never went over three miles because i knew father would be home after then. I gained muscle and became toned, though fortunately no one could tell due to the baggy abnegation clothes I would wear.

When Tobias' chosing ceremony came I knew he would leave, I wanted him to leave , I told him to leave...

"Tobias, don't feel like you have to stay because of me, you need to leave this place and live happily"

"I know Ati, I'm worried about you"

"Tobi, I will be okay, I promise"

"But what if it gets worse?"

"Tobi , father favours me, he won't hurt me anymore than he already does"

Little did I know I was wrong

"Do you know where you are going?"

"No"

"It's okay just know I love you"

"I love you too"

I wasn't allowed to go to Tobias' choosing ceremony, and father told me he went to Candor , but i knew he was lying. That night was the beginning of my never ending hell. He came home drunk , with a bottle of alcohol in hand. I was in the kitchen , crying in grief for the loss of my brother, he may not have been dead but he was gone. When he came through the door he caught sight of me he emptied the bottle of its contents and threw the glass longneck at my head. I was able to duck in time for the bottle to hit the wall behind where my head was moments prior. He rushed at me and threw me into the living room, where my head hit the grey wooden table that was residing in front of the sofa, the grey sofa. He grabbed at the collar of my dress and started to drag me up the stairs, the grey stairs. He dragged me to my bedroom and thew me on my bed, my grey bed. He started to undo his belt, and tears came to my eyes as I braced myself for the bite of the leather. Though to my surprise he threw the belt on the carpet, the grey carpet. I thrashed and screamed, struggled with all my might to stop him but to no avail I lost. In order to get what he wanted he had to knock me unconscious and the last thing I saw was the wall, the grey wall , as I lost all fight and consciousness I had in me.