Part 1

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"I thought that's what you wanted?"I had rolled over to face Taft after being awoken by him jumping out of bed. He shook his head at me and threw his head back holding his head in his hand. He lets out a breath. 

"Willow do you really think that?"he looks around the room but turns back to me. "I love you."

"I know," I sit up on the bed, the blanket pulled to my chest. I clasp and unclasp my hands. "you don't hide it well." 

"See." he shrugs disappointed. 

"What?" I shake my head with a shrug.

"You didn't say it back." he pauses. "And I wouldn't expect you to, I know you don't have and feelings for me like that. I've accepted that a while ago, but I can't change my feelings for you."

I say nothing, I keep my head down. 

"This just makes things worse. We shouldn't have done that." 

"I just thought that-" I don't know where to look so I look around without thought, not finding the words I wanted.

"You weren't thinking. It just breaks my heart even worse now." he shakes his head frustrated. 

"I'm sorry." I shrug.

"Well you better leave, before everyone else wakes up and someone catches you." He bites his lip with anger and sadness in his eyes.  I nod and reach for my clothes on the floor. I look back up at him and he's not there anymore. I search around the room with my eyes to find him laying next to me asleep once again like nothing had happened. I gasp and-

I'm awake.

For real this time.

I have had this dream -if you can even call it that- over and over again. Since the day I left, that conversation has replayed in my mind. I keep thinking of better ways I could have handled it. But I would've still broken his heart by leaving. I can't change my feelings either, he's has and always will be my best friend. If I can't even find love in my actual mate, there's no way I could love anyone else. I don't believe I am capable of love. I've always thought that Taft loved the idea of being with me, he doesn't realize that I wouldn't end up being the girl of his dreams.  

That didn't matter anymore though, the situation had changed so much now. I had no idea how to live a normal human life but I was trying. I met Katherine the night I left...

The traffic had gotten thinner and thinner in the hours, so cars only passed every once in a while. My lips are chapped, my teeth are chattering, but I keep walking. My feet are so cold that they feel numb and sore, I consider stopping but how would that help? I would just get colder, at least if I move my body will warm up. I'm tired though and I hadn't thought about where I would go or where I would sleep. My plans were dumb and not always well thought out. If the wind died down it wouldn't be so cold I'd thought. I continued down, though I hadn't walked by much in the last hours, just cold pavement, fallen leaves and passing cars. The sky was pitch black, only the faintest of stars are visible. I'm shivering hoping that I'll find somewhere to go soon when a headlights near behind me. But this car is different, it's slowing down. My heart starts pounding, fear is the only thought on my mind. Normal humans can be scarier than any wolf. I keep my pace a little faster taking strides, but the car is right behind me. A voice calls out. I try to ignore it. It's a woman's voice.

"Hey!" the woman calls. Again I try to ignore it, the car is beside me now. "It's cold and you shouldn't be out this late it's dangerous. Do you need a ride?" She sounds young but I'm not sure if I should acknowledge her.

"No." I say, my keep my gaze ahead. "I'm fine."

"You don't look fine, you look cold. I'll drop you off where ever you need to go." I give her no response. "Look I'm headed to work, I don't mind giving you a ride. I know you're freezing and I know what it's like to not have a place to go." Should I believe that? 

"Work? This late?"I ask without stopping.

"Broken pipe at a motel, I can't let it leak all night I'll have to get the flooring replaced." I stop.

"Motel?" I say.

"Yeah the Riverside Inn. It's small but we keep it clean, I can get you a room for cheap."

"How far?" I turn to the woman with my arms crossed.

"About an hour at the most." I take slow careful steps toward the car.

"How do I know I can trust you?"

"I guess you can't. What do you want, my ID?"

"Yeah, I do. Where is it?" I open the car door. The woman goes to reach for something. "No, I'll get it. Where is it?"I say timidly.

"Floorboard, in my wallet." I find it quickly, its a small gold zipper pouch with card holders and a an accordion opening for cash. I slip her ID out and stare at it, her name is Katherine Dune and shes twenty six years old. "Katherine."I say. She nods. I sit down in her passenger seat, I slip the straps of my backpack off my shoulders and move my bag to the floor. I close the door as if to say "Okay let's go."

"What's your name?" She looks over at me and asks.

"Lola."

"You don't look like a Lola." is all she says. There's silence and I'm sitting in a strangers car, I'll admit I was thankful for the heat, but I kept looking around the car for I don't even know what. A sign of danger? Not only that but I hadn't been in many cars so I was curious. Her car was older and needed some work. "Did you run away? You can't be more than seventeen."

"No."

"No you didn't run away or no you aren't seventeen?"

"Both."

"What?"

"I'm nineteen, I just left my community."

"You were in a cult?" she says suddenly, turning to face me.

"What? No."I say appalled, thought I guess it might have sounded as if I was referring to a cult. I don't know what else to say.

"Sounds a lot like a cult to me..."

"Yeah... um." she nods in confusion as if I need not to say more.

The next couple of exits passed quietly. She listened to soft music on a low volume like she was comfortable with the silence, and hummed along to a beat I'd never heard as I watched the traffic signs blur pass us. I reached toward the radio, carefully examining the panels. 

"Looking for the heat?" she asks, reaching for a dial and turning it to red. I knitted my brow at the tiny pictures on the panel and thought they could've been more self explanatory.  "Say, have you never been in a car?"

"I have, a couple of times." I say, she nods not pushing to ask more.  





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