A Love Letter for the Dead

Chapter 3

Leo and I stayed together and when high school ended we went for all the same colleges so that we could be together and share an apartment and ended up moving in together right after high school. We were happy and planned to stay that way forever. And when college started things were perfect.

“Tay?” Leo asked one day while we were just sitting in our apartment. I looked up from the notes I was studying to see him on one knee on the floor. I stood up immediately and rushed toward him.

“Oh my god,” I said. I was awestruck.

“I know we can’t actually get married because we are both guys but I want to promise myself to you and you do the same to me. I love you so much and I never want to stop so let’s where the rings and be happy and live together for the rest of our lives. I just love you more than anything else in this world.” He said while looking up at me.

I was crying and all I could think of us was how much I wanted to put that ring on and kiss him. I couldn’t seem to get the words out so I just nodded and laughed between sobs of joy. He stood up happily and took my hand slipped on the ring. I laughed and looked from the ring to him.

I was so overcome with joy that I couldn’t even think properly. Leo laughed with me and looked close to tears but I couldn’t tell if he was crying because the next second he wrapped his arms around my waist and I his neck and he picked me up and spun and kissed me.

That was one of the best moments I ever had. It was tied with our first time and when we first started dating and I couldn’t do anything besides hug him and look at the beautiful ring. From then on if anyone asked we said we were married or engaged and we never lied to someone about what the other was to us.

If someone asked him what I was to him he said I was his husband and when someone asked me I said the love of my life. And that’s what he was. My one and only love.

Many years later when we were both twenty two we planned a quick getaway to his family’s cabin. It was an amazing weekend and we didn’t have any college tests and had three days to just relax and love each other and be happy.

I remember sitting on his couch in front of the fire place in his arms and looking up into his eyes and just staring into the perfect green color. He looked down at me and smiled that crooked smile and kissed the tip of my nose.

“You’re so beautiful,” I said to him. He looked down at me and smiled and I thought about when he first told me that and wondered if he felt the same way I did in that moment.

After that we went to bed and I fell asleep in his arms like I had done so many times before.

The next day we started the long drive back to our apartment and I was so happy. I hated long drives but I loved him and he was right there in the passenger seat with his crooked smile and green eyes.

I glanced over at him continued to drive. I always drive carefully. I was driving carefully then, too. But the guy came out of nowhere. He was going straight at us and I could see it because he was coming straight toward the passenger seat.

“I love you so much, Leo.” I said as quickly as I could though I know he probably didn’t hear it all over the sound of metal colliding and crushing. And that was the last time I saw him.

I saw that crooked smile and I saw love in his eyes and I saw the smash right into the passenger side and then everything was black. As soon as I realized I was awake in the hospital I sat up and looked around me for Leo.

“Leo!” I yelled and started to cry. I started to get ou the bed until a nurse came in.

“Sir, please calm down and get back in bed. You shouldn’t be walking.” I continued to get up though and walk toward the door. I ripped the wires from me and leaned against the wall.

“Where is Leo Emory? He was in the car with me?” I practically yelled at the woman. She looked to the floor and then back up at me.

“The man you were with died in the accident. The other car hit into his side and he died instantly. There was no pain.” I know she was saying most of this to reassure me but I couldn’t only focus on the fact that he had died.

I fell to the floor on my knees in the doorway and cried. People in the hallway were staring but I didn’t care. “Why couldn’t I have died instead?” I asked nothing. “Why did he leave me?” I said as I cried.

Later I was released from the hospital. I had barely a scratch on me and Leo was dead. I wish he was here still or that I had died instead because all I can think of is how I will never see that crooked green again or see his green eyes staring at me in the morning after waking him up with a kiss.

People say true love happens once a lifetime and that when you find it to never let it go, and I didn’t. I held onto it for dear life because it was the only reason I had to live and it was forcefully taken from me. It was pulled away and killed and they didn’t even have the decency to kill me, too.

Leonardo Emory is the love of my life and the only one I will ever have. And he is gone. I finally put on those skinny jeans like you wanted and I’m sorry the paper is wet but you now I have always been a cry baby. Plus I can’t stop thinking about how if I don’t do this I will never see you again.

I’ll never wake up to you sleeping next to me, never look into your green eyes and tell you’re beautiful, and never be able to spend the rest of my life with you.

Life isn’t short. It is the longest thing we will ever do and I can’t live it without you. I just spent the last six hours knowing you were dead and I can’t take that sadness for the rest of my life. I can’t stand it for another hour, so I went to our medicine cabinet and took about five of every pill we had and more on ones that were prescribed for a specific person.

Baby, feel really tired… I called the police about five minutes ago so they can recover my body but they aren’t gonna be able to save me. But I’m happy to have experienced this with you. Our first and last love.

It’s getting hard to think but I can’t wait to see you, Leo. I bought some skinny jeans, I’m sorry you never got to see me wear any when we were alive but, maybe you can now. I also found your red plaid shirt.

I always told you it was my favorite and it smells like you. It’s getting really hard to right because my hands are shaking and I can’t keep my eyes open for too long but I just want to say one more.

I know we are young but I loved you from the moment I saw you in this plaid shirt and the moment I decided I was going to come out to you. I can’t wait to see you. I miss you so fucking much. I love you, Babe.

                                  Love,

                                            Taylor ‘Tay’ Jessup

I wish I could hear you call me Tay again…

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Author's Note *IMPORTANT*

Okay guys, so that is the end. I really want some feed back so let me know what you think about this story. I worked really hard on it and this is prbably the fastest I ever written a story that wasn't horror. This is actually my first sad story, I think. So I hope you guys enjoyed this and that I was able to make an impact on you in some way. Well I enjoyed writing this though I was really sad at the ending because making a character is strange for me. I really am attached to the characters in my stories, especially the shorter ones because those are the characters I will most likely never write about again so this story really meant a lot to me and I hope you guys feel the same way.

Love Cora