Cry For Me

A Place Called Home

Lyric O'Ryan

I did it again. I fell into his trap. I didn't know if he was supposed to be my savior or my downfall, whatever it is though, I know that fate brought that man into my life, I just have to figure out why for myself...

"Sshhh, it's okay, you're okay." He whispered into my ear, running his fingers through my hair lovingly, and holding me in his arms so tight seeming scared that I would disappear.

He was beautiful, breathtaking even. But I, I was a sobbing mess, clinging onto him as if he was the only thing keeping me in this world, and in my moment of weakness, I had to admit that he was.

"I'm s-so sorry." I cried into his bare chest.

"For what mama? You ain't do anything wrong." He said in a gentle voice.

I just continued to cry, not being able to answer his question. I didn't know why I was sorry but at the same time, deep in my heart, I really did know.

"I'm just sorry." I sniffled, snuggling more into the crook of his neck. It calmed me, he felt like home. And as much as I hated to admit it, he was my home.

In just one glance, he broke down my walls, in just one glance, he made me feel safe, in just one glance, he captured my soul and made it his... And I loved every. Single. Moment. Of it.

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Looking over at him, as he slept was a dream come true because I now realize, that he was my dream. He made this possible for me. if he hadn't found me, I would be dead, if he hadn't loved me, I would be alone

If he hadn't pushed me... I wouldn't be Queen.

As much as I wanted- no needed to stay and be with him, I had to leave and grow on my own. This is why, I now found myself searching for my still wet clothes, trying to sneak back

Out of his life. For now.
After putting on the damped shirt, I quickly tried to put on my heels, bouncing on the balls of my feet trying to hurry up and leave.

My plan was almost a success, until the floor squeaked under my weight making the man of my dreams wake up.

"Where are you going?" Deshaun bluntly asked. I silently cursed the devil out for putting me in this situation and slowly turned his way.

"Home" I whispered, looking down onto the floor, not wanting to make any eye contact with him, because if I did, I would crumble like a cookie and stay.

It was silent for a long minute, making me almost want to look up out of curiosity. It wasn't until I felt his arms wrapping around me, that i realize he had moved which caused me to jump.

Slowly spinning me around so that I was facing him, he tilted my head up trying to meet my eyes but I couldn't, at that very moment, I didn't know if I was being strong by not doing what he was verbally asking me to do

Or if I was being weak because I knew I would break down if I did.

"Look at me." He whispered, gently caressing my cheek ever so softly, I had to close my eyes and capture that feeling of his hands on me because I knew, I knew that it was a possibility for when I walked out of that door, I wouldn't be coming back.

"I love you," he said, touching his forehead against mines. And that right there, is what made me snap.

"Why would you say that," I asked harshly after roughly pushing him away from me and stepping back.

"Whatcha mean?" He asked confused.
"Why do you have to say shit like that huh? Why? Why now? After three months of being apart! After I became confident, after I built myself a fucking kingdom!!! Why!?!" It was too much.