Random emotional texts

Numbness.

I didn't know what to do.. it was too much to take in.
It seemed unreal, like it was all just a dream.
I didn't want it to be real, so I didn't believe it was.
I pretended everything was normal.
I didn't know how to feel, so I just felt nothing.
Numbness was always the best solution. But just like everything else in my life, it didn't last.
And when it was gone, life wasn't ok anymore.
That's how it had always been. And that's how it will always be.
At least, that's what I thought.
I never expected things to become worse, I never wanted things to be unbearable, because I didn't want to be unable to handle things.

I DIDN'T FUCKING WANT THIS, OK?!

• • •

As time went by, I started to realise that I couldn't keep pretending things were normal.
I couldn't keep living this beautiful lie blindly.

Things weren't ok anymore.

My numbness was disappearing.. I imagined it would be as it always was.
Day after day I would start feeling more and more, as life became worse and worse.

But NOT this time.
It happened all of a sudden. Unexpectedly.

BOOM!!
Numbness gone, feelings back. Just like that, out of the blue.
Unbearable. Just not ok.

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A/N

Heyyy, this is completely improvised and out of the moment, tell me if I should make a story out of this.
I'm sorry it's rather short, I'm not very experienced when it comes to writing and this was more of an experimental test, but I hope you enjoy it anyways :)