Jonathan Jasp
1996,24 June,3:01 pm
He turned with desperation in his eyes, dying to find out what her reply would be,would it be a obvious no,or a hesitant yes? He looked at her ocean blue eyes then to her night sky hair. Back and forth,back and forth. He always was amazed at how beautiful she was. To him shes the definition of beauty. She's like a model,a fallen angel. She looked at her slit up arm as tears formed in her eyes. He panicked,did he do something wrong? Did he smell bad? No. He loved a sad girl. He had never felt like this about someone before. He was always that bad boy that smoked and drank. A bad boy that fell for a sad good girl,how ironic. He pressed his thumbs against her tears and shooed them away. She smiled hesitantly,but when she finnaly did smile he was greeted with a soft grin, majestic. He loved her,only after weeks of knowing her. No,how could it be? He's fallen for someone as perfect as a lilac sky.
1996,23 March, 6:07pm
Insanity. By definition its described as 'someone who is going insane'. Quite frankly,that's not true. I've always seen insanity as a concept,its quite hard to grasp. But once the madness conceives you,you become a professional. How silly, I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Jonathan Jasp. Most people just call me JJ tho. I've always thought about death,what its like,is heaven real? Do bad people really go to hell? Or is it all just blackness like at the end of a tunnel? I've never been a scared person,I've always been content with my emotions,but ever since my mother 'died' it's been hard,y'know? My mother suffered from bipolar disorder, she always hid it,quite well actually,but I'm her son,I know something was wrong ever since my baby brother died. I thought it was just grief,but it lasted 3 years,until she finally gave up, she went mad,insane, she robbed,threatened,hell,she was even close to murder. Until she finally disappeared. I don't know where she is,everyone just says she's 'dead', I know that's not true,she's out there,somehow,somewhere.
1996,24 March, 7:03am
16 years old,I never really thought this day would come, I'm a ticking time bomb waiting to explode,I was sure I would be dead by 14, after all I did attempt suicide 5 times in the space of 3 months in 1993 (13 years old). I just wish my mother was here to celebrate it with me.
1996,25 March, 10:00pm
I needed to go for a walk so I went to my favourite place,the roof of SouthSide café. I'm sitting there for a while,patient. But I get this sudden urge. The urge to end it all,throw myself off. I slowly stand up as my face goes pale, I'm at the edge,I feel dizzy,I feel as tho I'm going to pass out,I place one foot off the edge,but just as I'm about to walk away from this horrible society, I feel my arm tugged, I fall dramatically into someone's arm,all I see is someone with dark blue hair,I look up and I see a beautiful girl. She looked around my age. She had ocean blue eyes and a smile that's never going to leave my mind. This girl,right her,saved my life.
1996,20th June,4:00pm
Silence. Complete silence. No speaking and no ringing in my ears. This scared me,it made me think of ever single bad thing that could happen. I'm on a date with Megan,we are inside the café for a change. I'm on my shitty laptop with windows 7 writing this and she's on her phone while slurping her latte. I keep looking up at her,she looks so perfect,like she's at peace,she catches me glancing at her and smiles,I'm hesitant but I smile back.
"Is your latter ok?"~JJ
"Yes its fine"~Megan
She smiles from her eyes,dimples form in her cheeks.
"Tell me a bit about yourself"~Megan
I panicked,I'm not a interesting person,like,at all.
"E-erm,like what"~JJ
"Hobbies?"~Megan
Okay,yeah,I'm on the verge of an anxiety attack.
"Well,I play guitar,sometimes a bit of videogames if I'm not busy with homework, I mainly smoke,drink and cry"~JJ
Probably not the best things to have told her,but in needed to be honest.
"Awh you sound sweet,adorable even"~Megan
She smiles again,my heart feels as tho its forming wings and is covered in heart shaped kisses.
"Jonathan,you are really cute,I think I'm developing feelings for you.."~Megan
Oh my god,this is happening.
"Before we say anything more,I just thought I should tell you,I was diagnosed with bipolar in 1992,I still have it as its got worse,I don't think you can handle me,,"~JJ
"Is that supposed to scare me away? I can handle you,you're not broken,you're perfect."~Megan
I smiled,ive been waiting all my life to hear that I slowly grab her hand and kiss it.
1996,24 June,3:01 pm
He turned with desperation in his eyes, dying to find out what her reply would be,would it be a obvious no,or a hesitant yes? He looked at her ocean blue eyes then to her night sky hair. Back and forth,back and forth. He always was amazed at how beautiful she was. To him shes the definition of beauty. She's like a model,a fallen angel. She looked at her slit up arm as tears formed in her eyes. He panicked,did he do something wrong? Did he smell bad? No. He loved a sad girl. He had never felt like this about someone before. He was always that bad boy that smoked and drank. A bad boy that fell for a sad good girl,how ironic. He pressed his thumbs against her tears and shooed them away. She smiled hesitantly,but when she finnaly did smile he was greeted with a soft grin, majestic. He loved her,only after weeks of knowing her. No,how could it be? He's fallen for someone as perfect as a lilac sky.
1996,25 June, 1:00am
*Ringing goes on for quite a while*
I wake up,steadily,I hear my phone ringing from across the room.I carefully place my feed on the floor,I stretch my arms as wide as I can while I let out a big roar. I go over to my phone and see the name 'Megan Rayer'. My eyes go wide and I quickly press 'answer'.
"Hello?"~JJ
I hear soft whimpering followed by screaming "JJ!! Please come quick!!"~Megan
"Wait what's happened?!"~JJ
"M-my dad! H-hes stabbing my mother repeatedly!"~Megan
I rush down to Megan's house which is placed in the middle of Countest Street,number 89. I bang on the door as I hear screaming coming from the inside, it sounds like a mad house in there,a freak show. No one answers so I barge through the door. I find Megan in a pool of tears in the corner holding a tiny pistol in her hands,my face goes as pale as a ghost. I look over and see an ocean of blood where the mother has stab marks in her stomach and a slit throat,I see the dad with a bullet wound right in between his eyes. I carry Megan to my car,I go back in and get as much as her stuff as possible.
"JJ?"~Megan
I hesitate. "Y-yeah"~JJ
"Can we run away,please?"~Megan
I can feel my eyes going wide,I don't know what to say,I love her,In love with her,so I say yes and drive off.
1996,28 June,5am
We have been driving for quite a while now,we have filled up on gas a few times,we are now on the north side of Illinois,Megan is fast asleep,I kiss her on the head and step out the car for a quick smoke,I see a black shadow in the distance. I leave the spare keys with Megan and lock the door,I throw my car keys into the wood. I continue to drop my smoke on the floor and step on it,I walk forward,t further I go the mistier it gets. The weathers getting hazy. I am now toe to toe with the dark masked man,I turn my head around,the car is still there,I turn back around and I find a knife held to my throat,slash.
Megan Rayer
1996,28 June,5:45am
I wake up,my vision still a misty colour of black. As soon as I can see properly I find that JJ has gone. I feel my pores to start dripping in sweat and tears forming. I open the car and see a body in the distance. I walk up to it. Its JJ. I feel my whole world collapse. Gone. I'm crying with my head on his chest,don't leave me,you promised you would never leave me,I give up,my time has come.
Fade to black.
End of book.
