He Changed Me

Dear Diary,

I fell in love with his sweet romance, sweet words and sweet actions. He made me think that he is the only guy I will ever love. The guy whom I will spend the rest of my life with. The guy whom I consider, perfect for me.

Yet, all those things he showered me, was all fake. Complete fake love. I trusted him, I thought he wouldn't hurt me. I thought he will change for me. But I guess I was wrong. Oh how did I fell for his trap?

Those days we shared together, started to fade, leaving me only with a broken heart.

Maybe I was too boring for him. I'm not entertaining like he expected me to be. I wasn't what he wanted me to be. I wasn't the girl he assumed me to be.

Now, all the tears, all the heart breaks, all the pain I've felt, is eating me inside. Since day one, I already know that he is trouble. Just by looking at him, and his friends warning me to him.

But still, I didn't listened to them, I continued myself to love him, no matter what he do, I will never give up on him.

But boy I was wrong, I didn't know love would make me feel this way. The pain keeps eating me from the inside. My soul is disappearing.

Why? How could you do this to me? You were my first love. I shared you my first hug, my first holding hands, my first sweet talks in person. I never gave this much in a guy.

I guess you were just so skillful that you already know what to do whenever you want someone. You already know how to make me fall in love with you.

Since day one, I admit, I liked you. You were cute. You started  showing fake love on me, well, I couldn't help but also flirt. There's no harm in flirting right?

But days goes on, we continue to end like this, I felt so special, like I'm the only girl you love. But I was wrong.

It only lasted in a month, your feelings started to fade, because, you met someone new.

Some girl who you have just met. You don't know how it really hurts me. I cried and cried, only to realize that I'm being stupid.

Stupid for crying to a guy like you. Stupid for falling to a guy like you.

My mind just seemed to stop working.
I can't think straight.
My soul feels so empty and lost.

All I felt is, numb, pain, lost, hurt, broken.

This is my first time, falling and at the same time, hurting by a guy like you.

I guess I was easy, I guess I was just some random girl whom you are physically attracted to. Not the girl whom you can accept as who I am.

It really hurts me. Remembering those days crying so much, locking my bed room door and praying to God to stop the pain.

I guess this is my life now. Congratulations, you destroyed me.