Washington's Mistress

O.N.E

Laying there in my bed, waiting for the sickness to take me away from my suffering. no family, no friends, no one but the nurse and doctor who came every morning to make sure I wasn’t dead. Before I was sick, my friends and I had gone out every weekend for pizza, partied till we couldn’t hold our alcohol and at the end of it had a great time.

Then I got sick, well actually I didn’t get sick, I got cancer. The doctor said I only had at the most a year to live. At the beginning It wasn’t very bad, my friends came to visit me in the hospital every weekend, but lately they have started to not show up as much. Sometimes I understand that being around a dying person isn’t exactly what the typical teenager wanted to do on their weekend, but they were still my friends, and it hurt to know that they could really care less about my condition at present.

Because I didn’t have any family I was left alone most of the time. Being alone had turned me into somewhat of a ‘I could give less of a f*ck’ kind of person. That didn’t mean that I didn’t want all the normal things in life like a family and kids and a hunky husband to come home to every night, but for some reason all those things seemed to elude my grasp every time.

I had, had boyfriends in the past, but they just seemed to end up leaving or cheating. They were good for nothing scum bags, but I was attracted to those types of guys. I liked em bad to the bone.

My first boyfriend had been okay halfway through our relationship but eventually he turned into someone different. He went from being this awesome guy to this person that got mad at everything you did. With him there were no gentle arguments that many couples have, there was only full on anger yelling.

I think he changed because I refused to give it up to him in the end. I told him to his face that I wouldn’t have sex with him. At first he did the whole “alright darling, I can wait forever” but as every experienced girl knows, that phrase does not last when it comes from a male mouth.

We did a few things together, so it wasn’t like I was a total prude when it came to sex with my men. I tried my very best to be a good girlfriend to him, but with both of our families say “no! no! no!” it didn’t last, and ended in a horrific screaming, and throwing things across the room match between us.

About a few weeks after we had broken up I finally realized that I loved him beyond anything else I had loved in my life. It took me that long to realize I had fallen into the clutches of the love monster. By the time I had realized that it was already too late for me to get him back, and thank God I had my best friend Natalie with me to help me not make a fool of myself in front of the whole school while I begged for him to come back to me.

Right now I’m off of men and relationships, men are dogs who don’t care, and relationships suck because hardly anything good ever comes out of them.  

That had been a really dark time for me and revisiting it was like a bandaged being ripped off over and over again, but I’m a lot better now. Even though I have chronic cancer I still tried my best to hold my head high.

The only thing that had me worried were all the medical bills I was going to have to pay if I did survive, but the chances of me actually coming out of this were very slim in my mind. I had done enough in my life, so it really wouldn’t be a surprise if I didn’t wake up tomorrow. I must admit that I wouldn’t entirely be unhappy if I didn’t make it through the night.

“Marcy the doctor is here to talk to you about what is going to happen now that we have idea of what kind of cancer you have.” She checked my vitals and then left, and then the doctor walked in. I sighed.

It wasn’t that I didn’t like the doctor it was actually the exact opposite. I liked him a little too much, and it didn’t help that he came into my room with one of those really sexy doctor coats on and smelled so delicious that I just wanted to lick him from head to toe. So divine!

The freaking doctor gave me huge butterflies in my stomach when I looked into his baby blue eyes, and it didn’t help that I wanted to run my hands through his perfectly styled blonde hair, and he the biggest hands I had ever seen, I just wanted him to rub them all over me. God this situation was the typical cancer patient that was going to die and fell in love with their really sexy doctor. Oh well, I’m going to die anyway!  

“Hello Marcy, it seems here that you have Pancreatic cancer.” He said slowly, probably waiting for my reaction.

“Just lay it on me doc. I’m probably going to die anyways.” God I loved how caring he was, why couldn’t I have found a guy that acted like this when I wasn’t lying in my death bed?

“The cancer is at level four. The chances of you recovering are very slim, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t get through this.”

“There is no point in trying to prolong the inevitable Doc.” I lay back in the medical bed playing with a piece of my hair that had fallen on my shoulder.

“Don’t think like that Marcy, you are an incredibly beautiful girl with a long life ahead of you. Just think about your boyfriend, he wouldn’t want you thinking like this.”

“I don’t have a boyfriend. I’m a lonely chick that has cancer that’s slowly eating away at her from the inside out.” I placed my hand together and laid them in my lap. Suddenly a large hand was laid atop mine and I looked up at the doctor.

“You aren’t as alone as you think Marcy. I will always be here for you; I have always been here for you.” Then he kissed me. Placing his lips softly against my own, I let my eyes close as his hand came up and caressed the side of my face. “I love you Marcy.” 

After that he pulled away and left the room swiftly. I was breathless from the kiss he had just laid upon me. There was something about that kiss that made it stand out from all the rest. It was innocent unlike all the others I had had, but I wanted more, I wanted to know what he meant by ‘I have always been here for you’. I needed to know.

“Wait! What do you mean by that?” I jumped up quickly, but I shouldn’t have moved so quickly because my side instantly went up in flames. I fell to the floor in pain. The doctor stopped to turn and look at me; once our eyes locked he turned away from me heading once again for the door. I wiggled across the floor to the door he had just run out of. “Please wait!”

 I reached up trying to get to the handle of the door but it was just too far away from me. I tried one more time before I finally reached the handle but my hand slipped off again. My sickness was making it hard for me to breathe sense I was laying on the hard floor. I laid there for a few minutes trying to catch my breath.

Then the door opened and I lost all consciousness.