Feelings

(I don't have a good title for this)

Hey guys, here i am again.. eh here we go

Why do you think highly of me?
Nobody else does...
I lost respect for myself
I hate my image
My smile
My laugh
When I'm called beautiful
It makes me want to gag
Im nothing special
Please don't insist I am
I'm far from smart
I'm ugly as hell
Far from athletic
Im bullied and hurt everyday
why like me?
When you could have someone perfect
someone pretty and smart
Someone who thinks highly of herself
Someone who doesn't have battle scars
What the point?
To use me like a rag doll?
Just like all the others?
To add some more scars in the end?
No one could truly love me.
I am a freak.
I am a monster.
I have acne covering my skin.
My limbs and joints smothered with scars
You convinced me to quit the help.
To say goodbye to the blade
I shoved it out the door
Like throwing out another stranger
I learned not to trust the beings around me
Now im paranoid and confused as hell
Who do I trust?
Who do I believe?
Im a lost little kid.
Never asked for much
except a lil love and attention
Sometimes it feels like you hardly notice
yet your the light of my life
there isnt an existing hour that flies on by
To which your not on my mind
Ive fallen down to hell
yet you continue to guide me through my horrors and nightmares
Your the gaurdian angel i never had
I love you with everything i had
My scars heal for you
I yearn for your warmth
To look into your angelic blue eyes one more time
as if that minute were to be my last
When I say I care its not a lie
So kind and sweet
It must be a dream that I can never have
Is this truly you?
or is it another monster disguised as an angel?
Confused; unsure what to believe
You've caught me in your trap
I am yours.
My final question is
Will you break me or will you keep me?

Thats all for today